12.The End of the World
Sligo
Christine stood fora long time in the hall, tears of anger and despair running down her face.She was frozen between confronting Pauline and waiting for Erik to walk out the door, attempting to flee and hide again.Somehow, after everything, after all the promises and hopes and sacrifices and words of love, nothing mattered.
Or he didn’t want it to.Why would he?All he could find in life was brutality, even from her.Maybe for all she tried to be good and find a purpose, that was all she was worth.She was a coward and cruel.She was a fool and a fraud.She couldn’t keep a friend close and the people she loved always left her.
She stifled a sob so Pauline wouldn’t hear her and know how weak she was.Know she was right.It was all too fucking hard, and this was supposed to be the easy part.They were supposed to have lived happily ever after when they defeated the monsters and escaped the peril.
In her memory, she heard her father chuckle.When had he ever told her a story like that?His stories had been dark and dangerous, and very few heroes in them had made it to a happy end unscathed.The after wasn’t automatically happy because there was no after.There was only now and a life that kept going.
Christine could certainly take some of the blame for that, for her willingness to run instead of making a stand, or, God forbid, facing a fight, whether with someone else or her husband.Why had she believed it would be easy to be a wife when she’d grown up with a widowed father and never even learned how to be on her own until it was too late?Again, she was to blame for not thinking ahead or learning more.
She imagined Pauline’s laughter if she knew that was what Christine was thinking.Her laughter was also Carlotta’s and so many other mean, petty, malicious voices Christine had heard all her life, none of them louder than the one in her head that said they were right.For reminding her of that alone, Christine wanted to barge through the door and make Pauline feel nothing but pain...
She thought of Carlotta and of making her croak and humiliate herself.Christine remembered the applause and the joy of revenge and saw herself triumphant on the Opéra stage.Then, in her memory, the chandelier fell.
The vision did not steal the breath from her lungs.The thought of Joseph Buquet and Antoine de Martiniac falling dead before her didn’t make Christine crumble.It made her sad.Was that who she was now?Brutal and careless?She didn’t want to know, and yet she had to find out.
No.She had to decide.She had to choose.
Christine unlocked the room and trudged in.Pauline was still on the bed, unconscious, and chained to the brass frame.How dare she be resting right now?At least she was still breathing, though the bruise and gash on her face were now a vivid shade of purple.Her arms probably ached too from spending the night like that.
Christine grabbed the wash pitcher from its basin and stalked back down the hall to the water pump available for guests of the inn.She felt some relief not to see Erik trying to escape, but she pushed that from her mind.She had something to do.
Pitcher filled, Christine returned to the room and locked the door behind her.She hoped the walls were thick and no one was passing by.With not-a-small amount of personal satisfaction, she took off the gag before she poured the jug onto Pauline’s face.
The woman came to, sputtering and swearing as she flailed in her bonds.
“Good morning,” Christine said with a smirk as Pauline looked up at her.“Please tell me you have a terrible headache.”
“I’m going to skin you alive,” Pauline hissed.“You stupid—”
“I really don’t think I’m the one that applies to.You got cocky and creative and managed to get yourself captured a second time, on top of being rejected and beaten.”Christine clicked her tongue in disapproval as Pauline glared at her, looking in every way like a doused cat.
“I don’t recall being rejected.”It was a weak barb, but Pauline smirked anyway.“One day, he’ll see you for the pathetic thing you are.”
“He already does.So do I.You don’t need to remind me,” Christine replied, her voice and thoughts softening.He did see her and always had.Erik saw what she could be and deserved, even when he believed he was unworthy of sharing it.“Which is why I intend to keep him.”
“Good luck,” Pauline muttered.