Page 79 of Manhattan Tormentor
“No offense, Mrs. Fierro, but why are you here? Your man already told me to stay away. I’ve stayed away. And before you ask, everything you know is true, I’m the bad guy.”
“I know you are. Not that Sage says much, he’s like his father in that respect, he keeps a lot of what he’s feeling to himself. But you’re also the boy in his bed.” She says it blasé, my stomach heats again. I miss that little biting vampire in my bed, but I can’t think about it. There’s other shit I have to deal with. She goes on and I focus my stare as she stands in my home. “I don’t interfere in my children’s love lives, and if they say I do, they’re dirty rotten liars. I’ll tell you, Finn, a mother only wants what’s best for her kids.”
“Not all mothers.”
She looks at me compassionately and then inclines her chin.
“I want to thank you.”
“Thank me?”
“Thatcher told me how good you were with Sage. That night. How you helped him, kept him calm, put him in the recovery position and you didn’t leave his side.”
I shrug a shoulder. “There were a lot of people there. Anyone would have done the same.”
“I’m grateful. My cubs are devils, but they’re everything to me. No parent ever wants to get that call. I told him he ever does that to me again and I’ll be the one to run him over with my car.”
I crack a half smile. She’s all five feet tall in her heels. I doubt she could lift a bag of flour, but I believe she’d do it. I must be getting soft and that can’t happen.
I’m a Maverick, it’s not in our blood.
On the table, my phone vibrates. I know it’ll saySofiabefore looking at it. She’s gone psycho stalker lately, more than her usual peppy self. Calling me non-stop for days and I’ve ignored her. It’s the firing squad dinner at my house tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it about as much as I am for my balls to be gnawed off by an alligator.
Mrs. Fierro hooks her purse over her shoulder and takes a step toward the door. She’s pensive as she turns to look at me. “Can I give you some advice?” I don’t confirm and she goes on. “People mess up, it’s how they amend for those fucked up things that shape who they are inside. I saw how you looked the night you lurked outside of Sage’s hospital room, Finn.” I keep tight-lipped because a tremor starts in the base of my back. I don’t want to beseen. Not by anyone. Sage saw me and look how that turned out.
Let them think I am the worst fucking guy for their son.
It’s true anyway.
“My husband was gay his entire life, did Sage tell you that?”
I blink. What the fuck? This lady is an over-sharer, I’ve no interest in her weird marriage, “no, he didn’t. Why are you telling me that?”
“Because I came into his life and we fell in love. It didn’t matter that we were different sexualities. He fell in love with me. This crazy haired woman who wouldn’t shut up, became the most important part of his life. And you know what my Noah did?” She half smiles now. “He accepted it without struggle because as he tells it now, it was the most right thing he’d ever felt. Change is scary, especially where attraction and love are concerned.”
I’m not so dumb that I can’t catch the drift she’s trying to throw out.
“How you’ve handled things so far is poor, Finn.” She adds. “But I promise once you accept yourself, life becomes so much sweeter. If we ever see you again, I hope you learn all the lessons you need to learn and recognize who you are without reacting with anger. You don’t have to be afraid of loving someone. It’s a beautiful gift.”
Damn. This woman.
Who the fuck is she, a savant witch?
I roll my lips inside and exhale once she’s gone. Dropping to the couch, I lean over the coffee table, looking through the scattered photos. Choosing the one with Sage’s half torso. He was inhaling at the time, so it elongated his chest until his rib cage was visible. I love this picture but it stirs too much inside me.
Accept myself?
It feels impossible right now with everything else going on.
My dad wants me to step up to the plate and be his sacrificial dickhead. Put a ring on it and live in wedded bliss like him and my mom.
That’s a joke.
Sitting back, I slouch until my legs spread out in front of me and the picture is in my hand. I work my thumb over the indents of his rib cage, remembering how his body feels under my hands. The way he would inhale fast if I kissed him right there.
I miss him.
I let myself feel it until everything in me aches.
