Page 109 of Manhattan Secret
Swallowing my nerves, I fidget on the stool. I was incredibly sure on the way over that I first had to confess my feelings to Lachie’s family. Being scared for her questioning won’t put me off. I’ve lost so many months already.
“He asked me so many times to meet his parents, he loves his family so much and I couldn’t do that one thing for him.Being gutless, not trusting in his feelings for me, meant I gave into my own fears of outside judgement. Scared I’d lose my job. Scared what he felt for me was just the allure of chasing someone forbidden. A secret is more appealing than the truth.”
I take a slow regrouping inhale, meeting her eyes in hope she’ll understand, even a little bit since she’s sustained a marriage that’s lasted more than two decades.
“Only now, I realize, my job isn’t more important than the man I love and how he made me feel. The way he took care of me.” And then. “I’m here because I wanted to introduce myself, even if that means you dislike me. To prove I can be brave, to earn his love back. He only asked for that and not to leave him and I failed both things. I always pride myself on not giving up, and I lost the one thing that means anything.”
I’m sure I’m making the whole situation so much worse, but emotion catches at my breath as I tip my head down over my hands. “You don’t ever have to like me, Mrs. Fierro, but it won’t stop me from loving him. Lachlan doesn’t have to take me back, but it won’t stop me loving him or being grateful for the person he is or for the small amount of time we made each other happy.”
“Did you? Make my son happy?”
“Yeah, for a little while. I think I did.”
“This is all a lot to take it and accept. I’m a mother, one day you will be too, and you’ll feel the kind of fury I’m experiencing knowing someone hurt your baby or wondering if they took advantage of them.”
All color drains from my face. A sick pounding of dread in my stomach. Again, there’s only me to blame.
I need a new purse to tote all my guilt around with me, it’s becoming heavy.
“Only for the fact that Lachie was less…wild during the summer, has to be because of this secret relationship he was having, is the reason I’m not putting you into a coma right now, Delaney.”
Oh, god.
“I see now it was you who settled him, got him focused for his studies. All this year I worried he was too interested in partying, getting into things that could land him in trouble so easily. My son finds trouble where there is none. He’s smarter than us all, but he sometimes puts his energy into things that won’t help him achieve his goals in the long run.”
“I think he’s always had his eye on his end goal, Mrs. Fierro. His brain astounds me, scares me even, he could be a master criminal taking over the world without even blinking.”
This she laughs at, and some of my tension eases as she nods agreement. “That’s Lachie. It’s always been a fifty-fifty tossup which end of the criminal spectrum he’ll level out on.” She sobers. “I want to hate you and I will for a while. My boy should not be involved with a twenty-six-year-old woman and not his teacher, a person of authority. But I don’t believe all the blame is yours. He has his father’s motivation and unwavering drive for anything he wants. Don’t fuck up my son’s future, Delaney. He’s settled in Boston; he might even be dating.” The hit, as intended when her eyes hold mine, nearly cripples me.
“Are…are you asking me not to go to him?”
“I’m asking you to think about Lachlan first. Had I listened to anyone around me at the time, Noah and I would never have lasted. I get it, I understand the lure of the one you can’t have. I can’t stop him from dating anyone he wants to date, regardless of how I feel about this. Do I want you with my son? My knee jerk reaction is no. Only time will tell if what you say is true. Again, I say, don’t fuck up my son’s future on might’s and maybe’s.”
If my intention was to get Sena Fierro to like me, then I’m so shit out of luck.
Maybe the women will never warm towards me, even if by some small miracle Lachlan takes me back.
I’m fine with the world hating me, as long as he loves me.
I smile somewhat sad, yet relieved and I step off the stool. “I should get going, thank you for hearing me out, I appreciate it.”
At the door, I turn to see her watching me curiously.
“I’ve always lived in my lane, Mrs. Fierro. My whole life I’ve never caused any issues for my parents, didn’t step out of any boundaries. I followed the rules, I don’t even think I paid a bill late, not once. I dated safe choices, no one to spark my heart or who would scare me. Lachlan scares me silly,” I half-smile, thinking of the blue-eyed boy with a huge ego and heart to match. “I would break every rule I can if it means I’m the one who makes him happy.”
Facing Sena Fierro is a cake walk in comparison of facing Lachlan and telling him how wrong I’ve been.
For love, I’ll jump through hoops and face any risk.
I’m an idiot.
I fell for the guy in the ass hugging track pants and I let him go.
I love Lachlan Fierro to the very pit of my being, and I won’t let it end like this.
I can’t envision a life without him being the center of it.
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