Page 122 of Falling Stars

“I’m trying not to panic. Being here today took my mind off things for a while.” Until I ran into Nicole.

Rory left a little while ago, so I hug Paige before I make my way down to Maverick. When he sees me, he gives me the biggest smile. “Hey, Bay. Did you see Jace kick everyone’s asses in bronc riding?”

“I did. You killed it, bro.” I high-five Jace, which is a challenge since he has a woman hanging off both of his arms.

Turning back to Mav, I motion over my shoulder. “Leo’s getting fussy, so I’m going to head home. I’m starving.”

He closes his eyes. “Damn. We were gonna grab some lunch together. I’m sorry. I totally spaced.”

“It’s okay. I’m not really in the mood for arena food. I’m glad you’re having fun with your brothers.” I watched them down hot dogs and burgers in between events. I didn’t have the heart to interrupt their fun.

When he wraps his arms around me, a cold, hard wind blows through, and for some reason, I feel this is the last time he’ll hold me.

“Let me carry Leo back to the car for you.”

“I got it. It’s okay.” I need to get used to not having Maverick around. He won’t be here to carry Leo or feed him at night or help me change him. It’s back to being a single mother.

“Are you sure?” He brushes the hair out of my eyes before he leans over to kiss me.

His brother yells his name, and I paste a smile on my face. “Go. I’ll see you soon.”

My heart beats in my throat as I watch him walk away. I can’t shake the feeling that this is the end.

When I get home, I look around the condo. It’s going to feel empty without Maverick.

I fight the desolate ache in my chest and get Leo out of his car seat, feed and change him. “Is that better, baby?”

He gives me a crooked smile as he stretches his arms over his head. “Ba.”

“Did you just try to say ‘better?’” I’m putting words in his mouth, but I don’t care.

His sleepy eyes droop, and I put him down for a nap since he didn’t really get one at the arena. Tonight’s going to suck because he’ll be up at weird times. I use the time to break out the peanut butter and jelly. I slap some bread on a paper plate and as I’m mid-sandwich, my phone rings.

I slide my finger over the screen. “Hey, Mom.”

“Are you okay? I’ve had a bad feeling all day.”

“Can you describe this feeling?” Because those are no joke. When my mom gets a vibe, she’s almost always right.

She hums. “It felt like a disturbance in the Force.”

My mother and her Star Wars references. “Well, Maverick’s leaving tomorrow for New York, and I’m freaking out. Does that count?”

After a moment, she sighs. “I don’t think that’s it, but I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything work out for the two of you.” Her voice goes soft. “I know you’ve always loved him, but sometimes, love isn’t enough.”

I’m not sure I can handle her truth bombs tonight. “I know I don’t share much with you about my love life. I think… I think it was hard after watching what you went through with my father. I was really angry about it for a long time. I wanted more for you.”

“I know,mija. I wanted more for myself too. That’s why I fought so hard to make that work, but now that I look back on my life, I wish I had let him go.”

I still. “What do you mean?”

“I wish I hadn’t held on so tightly. I think Francisco and I might’ve worked out down the road if we had just broken up while he was playing ball. But I couldn’t deal with the idea that he might’ve been dating other women. So even though we were together, we spent most of that time arguing about where he went and who he was with. We were both miserable.”

A beat passes where we’re probably both remembering how he cheated on her. “I get positively rabid at the thought of women touching Maverick.”

She goes quiet again. “Have you considered that maybe you should let him go play football for the next few years and see where you’re both at when he’s done?”

“What if he meets someone else?” I ask, my voice cracking.

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