Page 88 of Second Down Darling

After she takes off, I’m still thinking about what she said as I head to the darkroom. Hearing about someone else’s dating drama makes me so grateful for my relationship withJake.

My phone dings, and I openit.

Love you,cupcake.

That’s all he says, but it puts a huge smile on my face. As much as we’ve been through, as hard as it’s been to get to this point, I’m grateful for the challenges we’ve faced because we’re stronger thanever.

Love you too. Always.I add the lick emoji and giggle. It’s fun to teasehim.

He responds with the devil emoji.Food for thought,babe!

I’ll never get over being in love with this man. It’s like we were written in thestars.

I break out the negatives from our photoshoot last Sunday. I took most of the images with a digital camera, but the school newspaper had an old manual Canon lying around that no one ever used, so I borrowed it for a fewdays.

After I check the negatives on the contact sheet, I slide one strip into the enlarger, flip off the overhead lights, and get out the photo paper, which I can see because the red safelight automatically pops on if the room is dark. Once I’ve done my test image with different amounts of light on the enlarger, I jot down notes on each one so I can remember how long I exposed thesegment.

It takes a while to find the perfect setting, but that only builds my excitement for the final image. Because it’s always worth thewait.

My life has often felt chaotic and frenzied, particularly with my family, but the darkroom is one place I have absolute control. Do I want to push the film when I’m developing it? Does this photo need more contrast? Should I print full framed or cropped? Does something need to be burned or dodged? It’s all in my hands, and there’s no feeling like printing the perfectimage.

When I’m in the darkroom, I often lose track of time. That’s especially the case today as I rock the exposed paper in the tray of developing solution and watch the image of Jake emerge. From the blank paper, his dark eyes appear first. Then his disheveled hair. Finally, his smile. He’s mid-laugh as Duke licks hisface.

I’ve already placed the final calendar image of Jake posing with a puppy from Second Chances and sent the layout to the printer, but these black and white shots are just for me. Technically, they’re for Jake since his birthday is coming up, and I want to give him somethingspecial.

The next one I print is of Jake and Asher, who’s giggling because his dad is tickling him. I can still hear his infectious laughter. Duke gazes up at them, and I swear that dog is smiling. As I stare at the image, I realize I’m looking at my whole heart. Everything I love is righthere.

Lastly, I print a selfie Jake and I took. I’m looking at the camera, completely unaware of the way he’s staring atme.

Like he can’t take his eyes offme.

I cover my mouth as a knot forms in mythroat.

If I ever doubt how he feels about me, I just need to look at thisphoto.

This, what I have with Jake, isreal.

Things might get crazy with all the shit I’m sure Dakota will unload on her dumb show, but I have to steel myself for those tough times and know what I’m fightingfor.

It’s in thisphoto.

I’m smiling all the wayhome.

34

JAKE

Leaning back on the couch,I groan. “I ate toomuch.”

Charlotte smiles and snuggles up to me as I wrap my arm around her. “That’s impossible.” She pats my stomach. “Just watch. You’ll be hungry again in anhour.”

She’s notwrong.

Over the last few weeks, things with Charlotte have been better than my wildest dreams. This girl just gets me. She’s always gotten me. She gave me this incredible set of photos last night for my birthday. Knowing how much time it takes to make each print made her gift that much more special. I want to do something for her for the holidays. I’m not sure what, though. I’m hoping she’ll come home with me to visit my family atChristmas.

While I obviously haven’t “cooled things off” with Charlotte as Coach suggested, I haven’t flaunted that in his face either. Except for when she shoots our games, our worlds don’t really collide. We’re both so busy on those afternoons, we barely see each other, and it’s usually across the football field. We should becool.

The one thing I did do, though, is pull Roxy aside and ask her to not mention anything to her dad. I explained why, and she was livid on my behalf, so I know she’s got our back. And I might’ve mentioned that I’d appreciate it if she didn’t worry Charlotte with the details. She understood andagreed.

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