Page 81 of Breathless
Me:Want to grabcoffee?
He must want to talk since he texted in the first place, but I’m still surprised he agrees to meet me at the Lone Stardiner.
When I pull open the door to the restaurant twenty minutes later, I immediately spot Silas sitting in the backcorner.
Grungy. That’s the only way to describe him. A dirty T-shirt. Ripped Jeans. Greasy hair. Silas used to be a handsome guy. Now he looks homeless. My big, tough brother doesn’t look so tough all of asudden.
“What happened to you?” I slide into thebooth.
“Nice to see you too,Josephine.”
“Cut the crap. You sold Gran’s house, fell off the face of the planet for months, and show up suddenly like it’s no big deal, looking like something the cat draggedin.”
His eyebrows lift. “Aren’t you a ray of fuckingsunshine?”
Silas is not the only one who’s surprised. I never talk to him this way, but I’m done tiptoeing aroundhim.
Carol pulls up to take our order. “Hey, darling. Nice to have you home! What can Igetcha?”
I ignore my sorry excuse for family and smile at Carol, who’s always been the biggest sweetheart. “Hey, Carol. Nice to see you too! I’ll have a sweet tea and a slice of your amazing pecan pie, please.” I don’t think I can stomach much food and talk to Silas at the sametime.
“No problem. And for you?” Her smile disappears when she turns to mybrother.
“Coffee. Black. That’s it.” He rubs his hands together, and I take in his scrawny appearance and the dark circles under hiseyes.
I roll my eyes at myself. I shouldn’t care. Silas doesn’t give two flips about me. And yet I know myself. The guilt will eat me alive if I don’t get him a meal. “Carol, can you please bring him something to eat? Maybe the pot roast and mashed potatoes with extra gravy. Oh, and some biscuits.” That used to be his favorite. I turn to him. “You still eat meat,right?”
“Yeah. I like that stuff. It’s just…” He rubs his hands again and looksaway.
I sigh. Leave it to my brother to blow through thousands of dollars in the blink of an eye. Because he’s undoubtedly broke. Again. “It’s on me. Don’t worry aboutit.”
Carol gives me one of her parental smiles like she thinks I’m doing the right thing even though she doesn’t likeSilas.
When she’s out of earshot, I drop the niceties. “What’s going on with you? And why don’t you have any money when you just sold Gran’shouse?”
After a long, dragged-out sigh like I’m the biggest pain in his ass, he tosses an arm over the back of the booth. “I’ve been in rehab.” He waves the other hand over himself. “Obviously, it’s doingwonders.”
“That’s why you sold the house? You wanted to go to rehab?” I feel like I’m speaking a foreign language with how unexpectedly this conversation isgoing.
“I wouldn’t say Iwantedto go torehab.”
It takes me a minute to process what he’s saying. “So you got in trouble, and what, had to go to rehab instead ofjail?”
“Ninety days of court-mandated rehab, to beprecise.”
“And you didn’t think to mention this to me?” Tears sting my eyes. I hate myself for showing any emotion rightnow.
“Don’t start blubbering over that old pile of bricks. The house was barely worth anythinganyway.”
Furiously, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m upset about you, you pompous jerk. Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble?” I lower my voice. “And did you seriously forge Gran’s signature on the deed or something? That’s how you afforded rehab, right? Thehouse?”
He shrugs, and it takes everything in me not to reach across the table and strangle him because I know that’s as much of an answer as I’m gonnaget.
The food comes, and I sit there shell-shocked and watch Silas shovel down mashed potatoes. I have eighty-five dollars to my name, and as much as my brother hurts me down to my soul sometimes with his selfishness, I have to ask if he needsanything.
“Do you have money for food and rent? Where are you staying rightnow?”
“Got a girl. She’ll feedme.”
