Page 42 of Breathless
There goes mycalm.
Chill the eff out,Joey.
“I can’t believe we’ve never been here together,” he says, pausing to toss a stranded starfish back out tosea.
“I was always so jealous I couldn’t tag along.” My father never would’ve allowed me to stay anywhere overnight with the Carter clan even if Bev promised I’d get my ownroom.
By the time he abandoned us, my grandmother was too sick for me to take any kind of vacation. Watching my mother waste away from cancer was horrific, but the unpredictability of Gran’s Alzheimer’s wrecked me in whole newways.
Pushing those grim thoughts out of my mind, I pick up a shell and study the striations. “I’d hear about the walks on the jetty and you guys fishing with your dad, and I would’ve given anything to go. Silas always made sure to tell me every little detail. Those must have been some of the best memories of yourfather.”
When he doesn’t say anything, I reach for his hand again. It must be bittersweet to remember his dad. Daniel Carter was the most amazing man. Always caring. Always involved. Patient. And so friendly, he could charm the bark off a tree. Basically the opposite of my father, whose mercurial moods would swing so intensely, I couldn’t keepup.
“My dad… yeah.” He clears histhroat.
I lean my head on Logan’s shoulder as we stare out at the water. My heart aches when I think back to how he found his father in the barn when Mr. Carter suffered a fatal heart attack. Everyone was devastated, but Logan worst ofall.
He turns to face me. The expression on his face is so serious, sosolemn.
Shoot. I didn’t mean to bring up his dad. This topic always makes him somber. I can understand. I don’t want to reminisce about tragic events in my lifeeither.
Before I can say anything, he asks, “Can we talk about what happened atChristmas?”
Istill.
My heart starts racing again, but for a completely differentreason.
Of course he wants to talk about what happened over theholidays.
How can I explain it without soundingneedy?
My eyes dart away, a flush of embarrassment staining my cheeks. I try to tug my hand out of his, but he holds ontighter.
Moving me closer until I’m pressed up against him, he whispers into my ear, “Joey, please. Tell me what happened. Whatever it is, I need to know. It’s making me crazy, wondering what I did toyou.”
Nodding, I tilt my head down and close myeyes.
I can do this. I can tell him. He’sright.
Stepping back, I look out into the darkness, where the crests of waves are highlighted by themoon.
“It was the culmination of things that week.” I kick a shell at my feet deciding to get this off my chest. “Remember when we went to the River Walk to take photos with yourfamily?”
Out of my peripheral vision, I see himnod.
“I didn’t want to talk about it before since everyone was in a good mood that night and Ethan was going to propose to Tori, but that was the worst week ever. First my car—well, Gran’s Buick—was vandalized, and the next day, the day y’all took those photos, I lost myjob.”
“Seriously? Whathappened?”
I explain how someone smashed my window and trashed the interior while I was at work. Fortunately, one of my coworkers helped me fix my window, but that was just a prelude to gettingfired.
Recalling that afternoon has me seeing red all overagain.
“This client hated how I cut her hair. She screamed at me when I was done and made a huge scene.” My lips twist as I remember how embarrassed I was to be called out in a salon full of people. “It was so strange since she had specifically requested me. Called. Made an appointment. Asked for me. I swear I gave her the exact cut she asked for, but she made such a stink, and since I had been late a few times, Shelly firedme.”
“Bitsy, I’m sorry. Wish you had toldme.”
“I wanted to.” Just thinking about that night upsets me, which is why I’ve tried not to since I’ve been home. “But I didn’t get achance.”
