Page 102 of Breathless
We stand there, mulling over everything, when he sighs again. “I haven’t meant to be surly toward you this week. I realize you’ve been doing your best. I plan to repay you for my half of the child support you gave Samantha. Tori and I talked about it and agreed it’s the right thing todo.”
I wave him off, not wanting to talk about money right now. I have every confidence we’ll work out those details later. “I’m real sorry you and Tori had to postpone the wedding. Been meaning to ask how much extra that’s gonna cost. I can help withthat.”
“My girl isn’t going anywhere. And you know how persuasive she can be. We might’ve lost the hotel, but everyone else accommodated the date change. It’ll work out. Besides, we can’t get married without Joey. Waiting was the right thing todo.”
We’re quiet for a long time before I nudge him with my elbow. “Sorry I never told you about that conversation with Dad. Felt weird telling everyone I’d argued with him before he died. Had a lot of fucking guilt over it. Like maybe I pissed him off so bad, it pushed him over theedge.”
“You didn’t push him or punch him,right?”
“Fuck, no. Just yelled a bit before I stompedoff.”
“That’s what I thought.” He grabs my shoulder and turns me so that we’re eye to eye. “You got to stop blaming yourself for everything. Maybe Dad’s heart condition was worse because he was busy lying to everyone. That’s on him. Not you. And you’ve been looking after his kid for the last twoyears.”
I didn’t know how badly I needed to hear that until now. But I’m not the one who was close to our father. “How are you doing with that? With Dad having anotherson?”
Ethan sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Still pretty pissed off, to be honest. It helps that Zach’s a great kid, though. Looks like ranching is in his blood. Did you see the way he ran around heretoday?”
I smile, loving that Zach is getting comfortable around the horses. “He’s an easygoing kid at home too. Didn’t realize Samantha was leaving him by himself so much, though. Wish I’dknown.”
“You did your best. We’ll make it up tohim.”
“I was thinking about finding him a counselor. Someone to talk to.” Since Joey mentioned she wanted to talk to a therapist, it’s been on my mind to find someone for Zachtoo.
“Sounds like a good idea.” He frowns. “You sure Mom’s doing better? You said she has a procedure scheduled while Tori and I are gone,right?”
“I got it covered. It’s minor, I promise. And when she’s done, she’s kicking back with her friends in San Antonio for a few days of R and R. She’ll be good and refreshed when you get back from yourhoneymoon.”
“I appreciate you keeping an eye on her the last two years. I hate that you had to fly solo, but you were right—I was stressed as fuck when Allison and I were getting divorced. I’m relieved that whole phase isover.”
“When we hired Tori to nanny for you, I wasn’t lying. I was worried about your health too.” I shove my hands in my pockets. “You know, in case I haven’t told you, you’re a great brother. When I was staring down the barrel of Samantha’s gun, I was worried I’d never told you thatbefore.”
“That’s fucked up, bro.” He smacks me on the back. “But Iama good brother, aren’tI?”
I chuckle. “Damn straight. Thebest.”
48
Joey
Standingon Kat’s front porch, Beverly gives me a careful smile, the one everyone has been sending my way since I got released from thehospital.
“I know I’ll see you tonight, but I wanted to make sure you had your notes first.” She places the small bundle in myhands.
It’s kinda crazy she’s worried about me. She’s the one whose husband of nearly three decades cheated, and she’s concerned about my well-being.
Now that my brain doesn’t hurt constantly, I’m starting to get some perspective. Like the fact that Samantha waved a freaking gun in Logan’sface.
What if he’d died? If something had happened to Logan, I’d be devastated, plain andsimple.
Or what if Silas had died before we’d had a chance to makeamends?
What if Logan had been too late, and I’d croaked in thatcloset?
The words from that sweet lady I took the bus with from Florida come back to me.Life is too short not to say what you mean and live the life youwant.
She’s notkidding.
With the notes in one hand, I give Bev a hug with the other. “You’re the best. In case I haven’t told you, I really appreciate you coming over every day to drop off thesemessages.”
