Page 94 of Reckless

Feeling a little sentimental, I shrug and struggle to find something to say, but Tori fills the silence. “I wasn’t thinking that you’d have to compete right away, just set the groundwork for it this fall, get your investors on board, and then go for it in the new year so you can have a good shot at qualifying for theFuturity.”

Twisting her in my arms so I can see her face, I smile. “Have you been researching all ofthis?”

“Maybe.” She bats her eyelashes at me, and I belt out a laugh. “Though I might’ve fallen asleep reading the contest rulebookonline.”

I kiss her forehead, feeling cautiously optimistic. But no matter what happens, I’m grateful for this girl in my arms. So fuckinggrateful.

Logan strides over and smacks me on the back. “Tori’s made some great points. I think we should go for it. Figure shit out along the way. She’s right—you could win the big enchilada in a year or two, and that would take our ranch to a whole new level. If you wanna do this, bro, I got your back. I know Mom will too when she gets back fromChicago.”

We grin at each other like assholes, and Tori coos at us. “You guys are adorable. I always wanted brothers to look out for me the way you two do with eachother.”

With a smile on my lips, I pull her closer and whisper, “Baby, I can assure you I donotthink of you as mysister.”

Not even a littlebit.

41

Tori

“Like this?”Mila asks, her face a mask ofseriousness.

“Yes, ma’am. You’re doinggreat.”

We’re sitting in the family room with a mountain of art and craft supplies. I’m showing her how to make dolls with some artificial flowers, wire, and yarn I found in the sewing room. I made her one the other day, and she loved it, so I thought we could do them together this afternoon to take her mind off her parents, who have that court date to settle theirfinances.

I didn’t think Ethan told Mila he was going before a judge again today, but when she saw him wearing a suit and tie this morning, I got the feeling she understood he was headed to another serious adult meeting. Kids are so smart. They always sense what’s going on, even if they’re nottold.

Making dolls is a great distraction for me too because whenever I think about what today could mean for Ethan, I want to hurl. Ethan talked to Allison for an hour on the phone yesterday, trying to get her to consider the co-op plan I suggested. I could hear bits and pieces from the kitchen, and as much as I tried not to let it bother me, by the end of the convo when Ethan was laughing and sweet, where I could tell she had chilled out and they were getting along, a hot streak of jealousy shot throughme.

Deep down, I don’t want them to argue. For the sake of the kids and Ethan’s sanity, I can appreciate how much better their lives will be if everyone getsalong.

But there’s a teeny, tiny part that wants Ethan and Allison to stay far, far away from eachother.

Like maybe on differentcontinents.

Squinting out the big picture window, I don’t see the giant oak or the rolling hills beyond the ranch’s sprawling front yard. The sounds of the children fade away, replaced with Jamie’s private conversations over a year ago. The ones he’d dart into the other room to take, talking in hushed tones. His muffled laughter making me realize only after the fact that he was never talking to contractors or his parents or friends. I was just too naive and stupid to see thetruth.

Thanks for fucking with my head,douchebag.

But I’ve learned from mymistakes.

The biggest mistake was letting that breakupbreak me. Letting it derail me so much that I failed out of school. How on God’s green planet did I give another person so much control over mylife?

Maybe it’s all this fresh air and country living or being away from Austin and the scene of the crime, but it’s so obvious to me that I was too trusting. Worse, though? I didn’t trust myselfafterward.

There’s one thing I really need to do for myself right now.If Ethan can go through this horrid divorce and come out in one piece with this awesome business and his amazing family, what the hell is holding me back from finishing my degree? I havetwoclasses—not rocket science telemetry or neurosurgery or decoding hieroglyphs. Surely I can handle two freaking undergrad courses. I’ve saved up enough money this summer to afford them, so I really have noexcuse.

I decide right here andnow.

This fall, come hell or high water, I’m getting my degree. For myself. Not because my parents are nagging me to do it or because I’ve disappointed my sister or because my boyfriend might be embarrassed that I failed out. For me. To have something I’ve completed that I’m proudof.

Cody pops his head up over the coffee table. “Wook, Toh-wi. Ahhh cuh-lahgood.”

God, I love this kid. I hold up my hand for a highfive.

“You sure do color good, bud.” I’m delighted that Cody’s talking to me more now. It took a while because even though I knew he liked me, he was a bit shy. “Is that Thomas?” This child is obsessed withtrains.

“Yup!”

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