Page 61 of Reckless

Tori

Cody tugs on my shirt,and I nearly fall out of my flip-flops. I don’t know why I’m so jumpy. I’m not the one getting divorcedtoday.

Poor Ethan was a wreck this morning. Spilled his coffee all over his slacks and had to change. I guess his nerves are rubbing off onme.

Since our chat on Sunday morning, we haven’t had any more heart-to-hearts, nothing beyond a soft smile over dinner or a hug when I bring him lunch. Mostly, he’s been working his ass off in the barn to make up for the time he and Logan had to take off today to go tocourt.

I can’t lie—I miss the intimacy we’d started to build before Sunday morning brought everything crashing down. He’s pulled back, and while he explained why he needed to do that, it’s difficult not to feel a littlehurt.

“Want a sandwich?” I ask Cody as I brush his blond hair off his forehead. If I cut it into small squares, he might eat it this time instead of just tearing it apart and gobbling up the lunchmeat.

He blinks up at me with his daddy’s blue eyes and gives me a big toothless grin. “Sammich.”

“You got it, buddy.” I grab the bread and a few plates. “Mila, are youhungry?”

“Yeah.”

When she doesn’t say more, I turn to watch her coloring at the kitchen table. She’s been coloring a lot lately, ever since she heard her parents arguing Sundaymorning.

Last night, Ethan mentioned that he was going to explain to her what was happening today, so I know she might be feelingemotional.

After I make the kids lunch and seat Cody in his high chair, I lean over to see what Mila’scoloring.

“That’s so pretty. Is it for your dad?” She’s drawn a horse and an enormousbutterfly.

“Yup.”

“He’s going to loveit.”

She doesn’t say anything and barely touches hersandwich.

“Honey, are you sad about today? It’s okay if youare.”

Tears start tumbling down her cheeks, and I pull her into my lap. “Yeah, I’m sad. Re-re-reallllllysad.”

My heart crumbles into a million pieces as I rock her gently. “It’s okay to cry about it, to me or your dad. To your momma too. We all love you, and it’s good to talk about how you’re feeling with people who loveyou.”

When Mila and Ethan spoke last night, he told me she hadn’t wanted to discuss it. Just kept nodding and acting like the divorce wasn’t a bigdeal.

It obviouslyis.

Mila hiccups and holds me tighter. “Momma says she doesn’t want me living with Daddy any-any-anymore.”

As much as I’m struggling to not voice anything derogatory about Allison, I don’t think it’s healthy to turn kids against theirparents.

“Sweetheart, she’s just upset, okay? I’m sure she’ll work things out with yourdad.”

She nods. “I wanna st-st-stay here. With you andDaddy.”

“And he wants you here. I’m sure once everything settles down, it’ll be okay. Your daddy loves you so much. He’d move mountains to be withyou.”

“I wish it was like it used to be. Like in our pictures.” She sniffles, and I grab a napkin and help her blow her nose. “Except I want you heretoo.”

Mustering a smile, I wipe away a few of my own tears that escape. “If your momma was here, you guys wouldn’t need me to help out, but I understand what youmean.”

I consider the family photos on the mantel in the living room and can’t help wonder what happened to Ethan and Allison to bring them to thispoint.

Although Allison seems like she very much wants this divorce, she sure leveled a shitload of acrimony my way when she found me with Ethan. She screamed at me like I was the other woman. Like I was responsible for breaking up herfamily.

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