Page 38 of Reckless

Tori

Everyone loves Fridays,but today it reminds me that I’m headed to my sister’s tomorrow morning and won’t be back until Sundaynight.

When I reach into the kitchen pantry, I pause to stare out the back window, to try to sneak a peek at Ethan, but there’s only that picturesque red barn and two whinnying horses trotting along the backfield.

I don’t know how long I stand there, but when the front door opens, I snap back into action, slicing apples for the kids, who are coloring at thetable.

“Morning!”

Logan strolls in looking awfully perky. He must’ve gotten laid last night.At least someonedid.

“Hey. What’s up?” I try to muster some enthusiasm, but I’m exhausted from worrying about the conversation Ethan and I obviously need to have. I mean, I guess I need to talk to him. That sounds like the kind of thing my sister would do—be an adult and talk through things even though I want to hide under my bed and pretend nothing happened last night. Pretend that I didn’t rub one out the first chance I had while I thought abouthim.

Sighing, I rub my forehead. I have no idea when I became such a wallflower. A year ago I would’ve marched into the barn, kissed the hell out of that man, and saved all of my questions for after he shoved his hand down myshorts.

Maybe that was your problem, Tori. You ran head-first into lust withoutthinking.

Logan gives me one of those Carter smiles. “I know you must be tired after cooking all week. I have a surprise for my brother, so you don’t need to make anything this evening. I packed a few sandwiches for lunch, and I’m taking everyone to the Lone Star Station for dinner, you included. Mytreat.”

While I love going out to eat, I’m almost disappointed not to have something to cook this afternoon to keep meoccupied.

Hmm.I know. I’ll bake somecookies.

“Sounds great. Want some coffee before you head to thebarn?”

“No, I’m good, butthanks.”

“You think Ethan would like a cup?” I ask before I realize I shouldn’t.I’m so out of practice.I used to have nonchalant on lockdown after I hooked up with a guy, but I can’t find that happy place where I don’tcare.

“We have a busy day, so I’m sure hewould.”

Nodding, I grab a to-go mug and fix it the way Ethan likes it. When I hand it to his brother, Logan squishes me into a side hug. “You’re awesome, Tor. We love having you here. Don’t we,kids?”

Cody responds by trying to eat his crayon, which I replace with an apple slice, but Mila brushes her blonde hair out of her face and nods. “I love-a-dub-dubTori!”

I smile and reach over to pull Mila’s hair into a ponytail so it’s out of herway.

Watching her buoyant reaction, seeing how easily she gives her whole heart to those around her, twists something inside ofme.

It would be so easy to love thisfamily.

A strange melancholy settles in my chest that makes me want to call my parents. It doesn’t escape me that I’ve been living with total strangers for two weeks, and my parents haven’t called me once. When Kat moved in with Brady to help him with baby Izzy, back when they first met, my dad called her practically every day. I try not to feel hurt. I know my parents care in their own way, but I wish they’d try to show itmore.

By lunchtime, my stomach is knotted like fishing wire. I’m dying to see Ethan and gauge where he’s at. Because if he acts like nothing happened, like he doesn’t care, then I’m more than happy to followsuit.

Shut up. You know that would hurt your feelings, you littleliar.

Twisting my hands, I debate what to say and hope I don’t flubthis.

I’d hate for things to be awkward when I was starting to think working here this summer might work out. Especially since I’m getting the hang of things. I enjoy taking care of the kids and cooking for the family. This might not be my dream job, but I’m feeling like I’m actually good at this, and it’s been so damn long since I’ve felt useful or good atanything.

Plus, I can’t exactly slack off. Sure, I want to work hard and keep this job so I don’t have to explain to my sister that I’ve failed at something else, but I really and truly want to help Ethan and hisfamily.

Today, though, I’m not doing a great job of achieving that goal. In fact, the whole afternoon I’m so distracted that I burn the first batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and have to toss them in thetrash.

Eventually, I give up on following any kind of recipe since I’m feeling like a space cadet and end up playing with the kids. We’re building a fort in the living room when the guys finally come in from the barn. Ethan beelines it for his bedroom to shower, which is his typical routine, while Logan ducks into the kids’ bathroom to cleanoff.

With Logan’s surprise dinner tonight, I’m starting to worry I won’t get a chance to talk to Ethan alone before I head for my sister’s in the morning. Not if he and his brother hang out after dinner, like I heard Logansuggest.

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