I pull out my phone and force myself to look at the news feed.

She comes up and stands next to me. “I hear that your precious mentor, Wulfric, has spent untold millions keeping you safe from those deadly pineapples, clearing hotel kitchens and entire ballrooms over the appearance of one pineapple.”

“Millions might be stretching it.”

“But of course it’s worth it.” She puts on a fake concerned face. “A deathly allergy is a truly terrible thing!”

“And this is your business why?”

“Come on, Hugo! Why would you tell people that?Deathlyallergic. It’s been driving me crazy.”

“Then stop thinking about it,” I say.

“I can’t—it’s way too weird and funny.”

I focus on the floor indicator. “Try a bit of self-control.”

“Like the self-control needed to resist the temptations of certain deadly tropical fruits?”

I don’t indulge the comment with a response.

When I look over next, she has this amused expression that tells me there’s more.

“What now?”

“Tinley from the courier desk put this corkboard up in the admin break room and a lot of us have been printing out images of ourselves outside of work. It’s all about building camaraderie. It’s been nice to see people’s kids and pets, or see them rooting for their favorite teams…or enjoying themselves at barbecues.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“What do you have against camaraderie, Hugo? People would love to see your fun side.”

I give her a hard look. A warning look.

Her dazzling smile connects to something deep inside me.

People have begun to gather nearby, waiting for the next elevator.

She lowers her voice so that the slowly gathering group can’t hear. “Eventually somebody would look even closer. ‘And wait—what is it that Hugo’s doing? Whatever could he be eating?’ And Wulfric—my goodness, wouldn’t Wulfric be surprised!”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You know me—I can be a bit unruly. Also, incorrigible! Really, you just never know what somebody like me will do next. I mean, I hardly ever even know myself.”

I turn to her. I’m not a man who bluffs in poker, but I know a bluffer when I see one. “You won’t put up that picture. You may lack self-control, but you’re not vindictive.”

“Are you so sure about that? You haven’t seen me in all these years. Anything could’ve happened.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she says mysteriously.

“I’m going to take the next car that arrives,” I say. “I’d ask you not to be on it.”

“Would you, now?”

“Yes, I would.”

She lowers her voice. “Do you know what they say about pineapple, Hugo?”