Page 18 of Just Not That Into Billionaires

“I’m looking for a yes or no answer here; not a character assessment.”

She tilts her head, studies me some more. “You want me to pose as your wife,” she says.

“Youaremy wife,” I say. “Now you’ll start acting like it—in public, at any rate; I don’t care what you do in private.”

She’s shaking her head in disbelief.

“It’s not a difficult assignment.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you don’t get your visa papers,” I say. “This is a simplequid pro quo.”

She stiffens. “This attitude of yours? Not loving it!”

“But you’re gonna pretend to love it, aren’t you?” I say. “You’re going to pretend to love my attitude and everything else about me. You will pretend to love me to utter distraction if you want to go on your tour. Play my charming wife for three weeks, convince people we’re married, and my people will get you any documents you require.”

“Your people,” she echoes. “Because you have people now.”

“I have people,” I say.

“Are you sure that’s not cutting it close?” she asks. “The guy at the clerk’s office said it can take thirty to ninety days to get a judge on board.”

“I could get it for you tomorrow if I wanted,” I say.

“But you prefer to jerk me around,” she says.

“I told you what I want.” I push the paper back across to her.

“Why, Benny?”

“Leave your address with my guys on the way out. My car will pick you up at seven tomorrow night. Wear something nice.” And then, just because I know how she can be, I add, “Not a T-shirt. Something stylish. A stylish and pretty dress.”

She looks aghast. Maybe even disgusted.

It makes no difference to me.

“Stylish and pretty,” she repeats. “So now you’re telling me what to wear. I play adoring wife or I can kiss my tour goodbye.”

“Now you’re getting it.” I pick up my spoon, stir my soup with measured movements, letting the lumps of crackers get coated with the rich soup.

Moving in a smooth and measured way didn’t come naturally to me. It’s certainly not how I moved or interacted with the world as a youth. But people grow out of things. Sometimes people grow out of things naturally; other times it takes a great deal of effort.

I stir my soup in a smooth and measured way, savoring her deliciously white-hot glare.

Six

Francine

Lizzie arriveswith her shapeless prairie dress.

“Oh my god!” I am just laughing, imagining showing up at a fancy restaurant in that.

“It would serve that asshole right!” Mia says from where she’s lying on the couch throwing M&M’s up and catching them in her mouth. She misses one and it bounces across the floor.

Kelsey grabs the bag from Mia. “No more M&M’s for you.”

I take it and hold it up on its hanger. “I don’t know. It’s neither pretty nor stylish,” I say.

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