Page 75 of Against All Odds

She pulls back. “Well, we missed you too. I’m sorry about your grandmother. I loved her very much.”

“I know, she loved you too.” My grandmother felt that she won the lottery with neighbors. The Finnegans always came to check on her, making sure she was never without.

“Well, we know that she absolutely thought you hung the moon.” Her hand rests on my cheek.

“I should’ve come to see her ...” I choke on the words, the guilt hitting me so hard.

I went to college and never saw her again. She didn’t travel well, so my parents always came to her, and I was too stupid and selfish to return, not wanting to risk seeing Everett.

I’ve never forgiven myself for it.

She deserved better from me.

“Oh, sweetheart, she didn’t need to see you to know you loved her very much. She would come talk to me and tell me just how great you were doing.”

“She did?”

Mrs. Finnegan nods. “She came for tea every Sunday morning, and we would talk about you and your schooling. I swear, that woman could go on for hours about the things you were going to do in life. Her love crossed any amount of miles and didn’t require anything from you.”

Everett smiles from behind his mother. “I can also attest to that.”

She turns. “Oh, Everett, I didn’t know you were behind me. Did you know that Violet is here?”

His eyes meet mine for a heartbeat, and then he turns to his mother. “I did. She’s staying next door.”

“Doreen would’ve loved that. She missed you very much,” she tells me. “She would come on Sundays for tea and talk about you nonstop.”

Everett clears his throat. “Mom, it’s getting late. Do you want to go watch your nighttime shows?”

She glances at the clock behind her. “It’s almost time for my favorite game shows. Do you know where Brutus is?”

Everett glances over at the couch. “He’s over there, waiting for you and glowering at me.”

Mrs. Finnegan walks over, petting the big bulldog. “There you are, sweet boy.” He lifts his head, allowing her to pet him. “Let’s leave Everett with his friend.”

“I’ll come over before you go to sleep, I promise.”

She pats his chest. “Don’t you bother. I’ll be fine.”

He laughs softly. “It’s not for your benefit. It’s for mine.”

“Oh, then, you can come by or bring me back now and say good night.”

Everett turns to me with a smile. “I’ll be right back. Are you okay to stay here?”

“Of course.”

I watch him walk away with his mother and Brutus, and I take this time to compose myself. Jesus, I literally just wept in his mother’s arms. I need to get it together or I’m never going to get through any of this.

The list, remember the list. I have reasons besides the pregnancy, and those are what I’m going to have to cling to.

I can do this.

I have to do this.

Everett comes back in, walking to me immediately. “Are you okay?”

I brush off my mini-breakdown with a laugh. “Of course. I didn’t expect to see your mom, and I was surprised. I didn’tknow what to say, and when she hugged me, I just felt so emotional.”