Page 51 of Against All Odds

“Okay, when you were straddling him, was he hard?”

“Analeigh!”

“What?”

He was. So hard. So big. So much more than I remember, but I won’t tell her that.

“I’m not talking about that, and it’s not why he stopped it.”

“I’m sure he didn’t want to be the guy you fucked while you thought about your husband, who is newly engaged to the woman he was banging during your marriage.”

I huff. “I’m sure too.”

“Well, were you?”

“No! I didn’t even think about Dylan. All I’ve thought about since being here is Everett.”

Honestly, I hadn’t thought about Dylan since the moment I saw Everett. I was too busy laughing, smiling, dancing, kissing ... oh, the kissing ...

“Did you tell him that?”

“No.”

“Okay, so maybe your head isn’t a mess as much as you just really suck at communicating,” Ana says with a note of judgment. “You have to tell guys. They’re really not all that smart when it comes to reading a woman’s mind. They are far too literal.”

“Nick seems to have no issues understanding what you want,” I toss back.

She bursts out laughing. “Nick? Are you kidding me? I literally text him what I want, and then it shows up. We don’t expect the other to read our minds, and we talk about everything. Yes, hetriesso hard to be romantic and surprise me, which is cute, but when it’s the big things, I tell him exactly what I want.”

That was never the case for me. I’ve always been ... embarrassed about what I want. My parents didn’t care or ask me for my opinion when it came to things that mattered, so I learned to not have one.

Granny was the only one who would ask and push me to state my desires.

As a kid, whenever Hazel, Miles, Everett, and I would play or make plans, I never was the one who made the suggestion.

I just went with the pack.

“I’m not sure I can do that.”

“Why not?”

I really hate that she pushes me to feel vulnerable. She knows why, but I guess I have to spell it out.

“What if he doesn’t want to? What if he rejects me? He walked out that day in my bedroom.”

Analeigh chuckles. “I’m going to say there’s a fat chance of him rejecting you this time. Didn’t he say something about buckling up?”

“Yes, but it’s awkward.”

“Okay, I think you need to practice,” she says as though this is the best idea she’s ever come up with.

I groan because there’s no way this isn’t going to end up without me hating my life. “Ana, I don’t think ...”

“That’s right, don’t think. Just do what I say. I want you to open up your text messages and write to me, pretending I’m Everett.”

Yeah, that’s not going to happen. “No.”

“Violet, you need to learn to ask for what you want. You’re sending it to me. You know there’s nothing you’re going to say that will shock me. So take a deep breath, open the text, and tell me what you want.”