Page 89 of Here and Now
Both he and his team have explained it, and I’m fully aware. Thisinvolves people with a lot of money and even more power. When we are able to do something about it, we will, but until then, this is my life.
“And that’s why I can’t let myself get sucked into this pretend life.”
Quinn reaches his hand out, resting it on my shoulder. “That’s where you’re wrong, Penny. This is the life you have. We only get one. We don’t get to go back and make different choices based on the knowledge we get afterward. You aren’t living anything pretend, this is what it is, so take hold of it and live it, Penelope.”
“Just to lose it?” I ask as my tears come unbidden.
“I would’ve rather ripped the heart from my chest, stomped on it, felt every ounce of pain possible, than to never have loved Ashton. Take the hurt, because without it, you will never know what real happiness feels like.”
That might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I think about his words and what it all means for me. Is it better to protect my heart? Is staying away from Miles even possible? I like him a lot. I want to be with him, but the fear of what could happen keeps me from taking that jump.
I think about Kai. How much it would hurt him to get closer to Miles and then to have to leave.
“And what happens if I get close to him, I have to build a relationship on a bed of lies.”
Quinn’s face falls slightly. “I know, and I would bet he knows how hard keeping secrets is. There were so many times I couldn’t tell you the truth about where I was, what I was doing, and lying is never fun, but you don’t have to lie, just omit parts of your past. Once we have this missing person file under control, which Gretchen is working on, I’ll let you know it’s safe to tell him more.”
“I’m scared,” I admit, wringing my hands.
“I think you have every right to be, but you have a lot of people who are doing what we can to protect you. Trust us. Trust me, Penny, I wouldn’t let anything hurt you.” A tear falls down my cheek and my brother, unable to handle any type of emotion, shakes his head and steps back. “All right, enough of that shit, now I’m going to build Legos with my nephew and crash your date.”
I go to grab my phone to send a text to Miles, warning him that our date isreallynot going to be a date, since my brother is here, but before I can fire off a text, there’s a knock on the door.
“Penny, your date is here!” Quinn yells, and I groan.
“Please behave,” I implore my brother.
He chuckles and I can imagine the shit-eating grin that’s probably on his face.
I send off a silent prayer that I can get through tonight without my brother making me want to scream and open the door. “Hey.”
Miles has a wide smile and then moves his hand from behind his back, and I wait to see flowers, but ... it’s a garden hand shovel. “Hi.”
“Oh. Umm. Thanks?”
“It’s so that you can plant around the tree.” He chuckles nervously when he sees the expression on my face. “You know ... I should’ve just gotten you flowers.”
“No! No, it’s perfect. It’s really thoughtful and cute. Thank you.”
His eyes narrow slightly. “Liar.”
“I’m not. I love it.” I extend my hand, taking the shovel from his grasp. “However ... I have to warn you.”
Apprehension fills his eyes. “Warn me?”
And then my door opens a little from behind me and I gasp. “That her brother dropped in unexpectedly,” Quinn says, and I realize my prayers are not going to be answered.
seventeen
Miles
Her brother being present on our first nondate date isn’t great, but nothing seems to go easy with me and Penelope. However, she’s worth it, and as a big brother myself, I get it.
I extend my hand with a smile. “Miles Anderson, nice to meet you.”
“Quinn Walker, nice to meet you as well.”
“Coach Miles!” Kai runs out and I squat down to give him a hug. “My uncle Quinn who was in the navy is here!”
