Page 153 of Here and Now
I’m devastated at the reality I’m facing—the end.
It’ll leave Kai without any parents, but my brother will be there for him, and in my heart, I know Miles will too.
I fight back the tears. I need to be strong. Kai needs me to hold it together, even though I’m falling apart.
I love my son.
I love him so much, and I’m never going tosee him grow up.
I won’t watch him graduate from school or start college. I won’t see him when he has his first crush or comfort him during his first heartbreak. So many things I won’t witness on this earth.
Kai clutches at me, his fear palpable. “I’m scared, Mommy.”
“I know, baby. Remember what we learned?” I ask him.
He nods.
I stare into his beautiful blue eyes. “What do we do when this happens?”
My brother may not have given me self-defense lessons, but he did teach us what to do once we’re captured. How to speak, where to look, what to observe, and how to buy time.
That is my only goal. To buy us as much time as possible. I don’t know if Miles or my brother will realize we’re missing, but I pray that they do.
“We stay strong and I let you talk,” Kai says softly.
“That’s right, and if they take you away from me?”
The words feel like knives cutting through me, but it has to be said. I have to do what I can to protect my son.
He shakes his head, as though this can’t happen. “I don’t want to be away.”
“I know, but if it happens, do you remember what Uncle Quinn said?”
“I be quiet and look at my feet and be brave.”
I brush my thumb across his cheek, then clutch him to my chest. My jaw trembles as the fear of the situation overwhelms me. “That’s right. You be brave and know that someone will be looking for you. So you don’t worry about Mommy. You have to be strong and do whatever you can until help comes.”
Help has to come. If not for me, for Kai.
All I can do now is pray that Miles realizes I never would’ve disappeared on him and searches for us.
Not that there’s a strong trail to follow. When the men entered my home, they forced me to send the text message to Hazel, saying I couldn’t come into work.
We were then bound and put in a car as I watched them clear our house.
All knowing that they were going to make it look like we left and that it would be days before someone realized we’d been taken.
I hold my son, whispering fervent silent prayers that someone will save us both, but at the very least—him.
As I hold him tight, a sickness fills my stomach at the fact that none of the safeguards that had been put in place could be activated. I couldn’t run or get to my phone. There was ... no time to do anything.
That night we were on a plane and have spent the last five days in this room overlooking Chicago.
“Food.” I hear a grunt, and then the door unlocks. It opens slightly, and two bags of food are dropped in before we’re alone again.
The room we’re being held in is luxurious in a way. We’re in a high-rise office building, and this room has a bathroom attached and two sleeping bags in the corner, which we’ve used, huddled up together.
Food is brought three times a day, and we wake up with clothes to change into. As far as kidnappings go, they’re not treating us horrifically. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.
