Page 132 of Here and Now
“For not saying anything. That day, you were like a caged animal. You thought if we’d provided the information, then nothing bad would happen. We all went into that mission without proper planning. You’re like that right now.”
No. No, I’m just ... worried.
I just don’t want to lose her. I don’t want anything to happen to her. “All I want is to protect her and Kai. To make sure that nothing ever makes her scared again.”
“So why aren’t you with her right now? Why are you outside my house in the middle of the night, ready to fight some invisible threat?”
“You’d be the same if it were Eloise.”
“Probably, but I’d be sitting outside your house, and you’d be telling me to go to her, comfort her, be the man she can come to if she needs you so she never wants to leave. I’ll reach out to some guys I know and do what I can. Go back to Penelope, Miles. Give her every reason to run to you instead of away.”
Doug stands, clasps my shoulder, and heads inside.
I sit here for a few seconds, wondering when my friend became so wise, but knowing every word he said is true.
After another second, I’m in my truck and driving back to Penelope.
The light is on in her bedroom, and I see her moving around. I head over, knocking twice on her window. I see her jump and then look out. Her shoulders slouch slightly when she sees it’s me.
Penelope slides the window up and waits. “Why are you here?”
“Will you let me in?”
She chews on her lower lip.
“Please, Penny, let me come in.”
She releases a heavy breath and nods. I head over to the door, and the lock clicks open before I see her standing there in sweatpants, her hair in some weird haphazard mess on the top of her head, eyes red rimmed and puffy.
“I made you cry,” I say, stepping toward her.
She retreats and I swear, my heart breaks from that one step. “No, you made me realize what I knew all along.”
“And that is?”
“That I can’t do this. That loving you was going to break my heart.”
“It’s not. You were right.”
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“I have to decide if I can handle what you can offer me.”
Penelope places her hand over her chest. “And?”
I move closer, and this time she doesn’t retreat. “I will take any and everything you can give me. Even a small part of what we have is worth any possible heartbreak. I love you, Penelope. I love you and Kai, and I won’t give up this time in fear of what may come. I’ll stand beside you and in front of any danger that comes your way. I’ll fight your past because I want your future.”
She swipes at a tear before it can fall. “And if I have to leave tomorrow?”
“I pray you won’t, but then I want tonight.”
I take another step, and she lifts her head to look at me. “You came back.”
“I never planned to leave you,” I confess. “All we have is here and now, Penelope. I don’t want to worry about anything else.”
Every part of me wants to beg her to stay with me. To be with me as much as she can. If I can show her that I’ll be her safe place, maybe she’ll make other choices.
Her hands lift to rest on my chest. “I’ll be right back.”
