Page 130 of Here and Now
I look down, my heart aching from this conversation. Once again, the tears come, because the agony of this situation is eating me alive.
I love him.
God, I hate him for making me love him, but how could I not?
My hand balls into a fist and I rest it on his chest, wanting to push him away, but then needing him close.
“I can’t tell you more.”
He moves his hands to cup my face. “I will not let anyone hurt you. Telling me, giving me that risk, that’s mine to take.”
I shake my head. “It’s mine to give and I won’t.”
The men that killed Edward know me. They saw me that night. They know what I saw, what I took from his office, thinking it would protect me, but it didn’t. It made me their top target.
Even if I gave it back to them, they’d kill me. I know too much—names, places, certain players that are involved, all of it in that stupid book Edward kept in his top drawer. There is a missing link, though, the person who is at the top of it. Edward was smart enough to leave that out. That person will never stop.
“What will you tell me?”
“That I wish this could be different. That while I’m here, I’m yours, but I need you to promise when I have to go, that you won’t follow. You won’t look for me. You will let me and Kai go and know that leaving you is going to be the hardest thing I ever do.”
“So one day you’re just going to pack up your things and leave? You won’t even give me a chance to protect you?”
I nod. “Yes. One day you’ll come here because I won’t be at work or Kai won’t be at school, and it’ll be like I never existed.”
I won’t lie to him about that. He deserves whatever truth I can share.
Miles sits up in the bed, shifting his legs over the side, and rakes his hands through his hair. “You have no intention of giving me a chance?” he asks, looking out the window.
My jaw trembles and I wrap my arms around my middle. “I’m giving you the truth. If I don’t go, when I’m told I need to go, Kai or I could be taken, killed, beaten, or have to watch them torture the people I love. I’ve seen what they do.”
He turns quickly. “So, what? I love you now? I come here one day to an empty house, and I just go on with my life as though I never loved you?” He shifts, taking my face in his hands. “Like I don’t know what it felt like to hold you? To kiss you? To have you in my arms? Do you really think I can do that, Penelope?”
My heart breaks all over again. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I do. I can’t do it. I will search for you, Penelope. If you leave, I’ll be right behind you, because I’m not going to give you up without a fight. If someone is hunting you, then it’s time I hunt them.” He kisses me softly, and the pressure in my rib cage increases.
Miles pulls back and I gasp. He releases me and gets out of the bed, pulling his clothes on. “Where are you going?” I ask with fear that this is it. I would’ve prepared myself better if this was the end. I scramble out of the bed, pulling the sheet with me. “Miles? Are you leaving me?”
He has his pants on and grabs his shirt from the end of the bed. Once it’s on, he steps closer. “I’m going to do what I need to do in order to protect you, because I’m not losing you.”
And then he walks out and I rush to grab my burner phone out of the top drawer.
“Penelope?” Quinn answers on the second ring.
“I need you.”
twenty-six
Miles
Doug is standing outside his house, arms crossed. “What’s going on?”
I don’t know what to tell him, but if there’s anyone in this world who can help, it’s him. “It’s Penelope.”
“Okay . . .”
“There’s something that I can’t fully say.”
