Page 105 of Here and Now
I want him to make me feel again.
To show me another way where it’s not a game and I’m just a chess piece.
His hands drift lower, cupping my ass, but he breaks the kiss. “We don’t have to do anything more than this if you’re not ready,” he says, breathless.
One more brick falls.
I don’t say anything. I just take his hand in mine, leading him toward my bedroom.
Once we’re inside, I step toward the bed, feeling nerves hit me like a freight train.
He looks around a little, taking in the plain space that could be anyone’s. I’ve never found the need for decorations, since I always have to leave them behind.
Like I will have to do with him.
I immediately push away those thoughts, focusing on living in the moment. For once. To have this night with him and however many I can have.
“Miles?” I bring his attention to me.
“Yes?”
“Doyouwant this?” I ask hesitantly, because maybe I’m misreading the situation. Maybe he doesn’t want me and I’m imagining things.
He takes four long strides before he’s in front of me, his green eyes intensely locked on mine. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. I think about you all the time. I took up drinking coffee just because I needed to be around you. Do I want you andthis? I want it all. Everything you’ll give me. So never question if I want you, Penelope. I do and always will.”
My heart is pounding, and I force myself to breathe. “Why do you say things like this? Why are you so intent on making me fall for you?”
Miles smiles and brushes the hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I’m just telling you the truth, sweetheart. Don’t fly away from me tonight.”
I don’t think I can take any more of his truth.
Surprise fills me when I register what he said. “What do you mean?”
He smiles. “You like to sit and watch, but when someone gets too close or you feel threatened, you take flight.”
God, if he only knew how close to the truth he was. My vision becomes blurry as my eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to fly away. I want to give you all I can.”
The slide of his thumb against my cheek is like a feather’s caress. I feel it, but it’s delicate and won’t harm me.
“Then stay here with me. Let me show you that I won’t hurt you. Trust me to give you everything you need, but you need to tell me what you want.” His voice is rough as he moves his hand down to my neck.
“I want you to touch me.”
“Where? You have to be specific, beautiful.”
His fingers move across my collarbone.
“I’ve never been in charge before, and I don’t know how to do this.” I’m not one of those women who can just ... say what they want.
My wants and needs were always irrelevant in the past. But with Miles, it’s never been the case.
“I’m at your mercy. You will always have control when you’re with me. I’ll always ask if you’re okay with something.” The truth in his eyes is so clear.
“And if I need to stop?”
“We stop. I may need a cold shower, but you say the word and it ends.”
I brush my thumb across his lips. “I feel ... embarrassed.”
