Page 90 of All Too Well
“The good part was college for me. I loved my coaches, teammates, and that feeling of accomplishment. That was all gone once I was drafted.”
“Any idea why?”
Killian smiles and shrugs. “I think, for me, there was this drive to achieve more than anything. Which may seem stupid since once I got to a professional team, you’d think I’d want to prove myself there, but I just didn’t. I was watching these guys talkabout their pay, injuries, failed marriages, kids who they never see. I have a grown adult son who I never see, and I think a lot of that was because of football. His mother became pregnant in high school, but moved without telling me about him. When I found out, it was right after the draft and I knew there was never going to be a relationship between him and me if I was always gone. What the hell was the point in that? About six months into it, my college roommate called me because he’d created this app and needed someone with a head for numbers to step in. It was the first time I felt excited about anything and it gave me a chance to know my son.”
“So you decided to leave football?” I ask.
“I think football left me.”
I lean back, trying to gather my thoughts. Nothing about these guys is what I assumed. I knew they were all successful in their current lives, but in my head they were “washed up” athletes who couldn’t hack it. So far, all of them have left by choice.
Each for different reasons.
“Do you think you’d feel the same way if the choice wasn’t yours?”
Killian stays quiet for a moment. “You know, I never thought about that. If I would be okay with this life if I hadn’t been drafted. Knowing Lachlan, Miles, and Everett, I want to say I would. I probably wouldn’t have taken it well in the beginning, but there’s a part of us that are poets.”
“Poets?” I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice.
“Not the literal kind, but athletes are all about fate, destiny, answered prayers. We live in the abstract and can convince ourselves of just about anything, regardless of the outcome. We are masters at convincing ourselves that words in the right order can make or break a play or a game.”
My smile is wide and only grows when he dips his head a little. “Superstitions and prayers are a huge part of sports.”
“I wore only one brand of briefs when we were winning. As soon as those were cursed, I would find another. My coach wouldn’t wear gold-toed socks, and if we were caught wearingthem, we had to do one hundred jumping jacks to get the bad luck out of it.”
I snort at that. “I remember Lachlan always ate a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos an hour before gametime. Once, someone took his Doritos, and I thought he was going to kill. I had to literally run to the gas station to get more.”
That was the day he kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I was going to expire on the spot. Little did I know that we’d do a lot more—and hopefully will again tonight.
nineteen
Lachlan
“Hey, Chief,” Davidson says as he enters my office.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“You have a visitor.”
That can only be one person. I’m smiling before I can even stop myself. Sure enough, Ainsley enters, carrying a bag. “Thanks, Davidson.”
He closes the door, and Ainsley places the bag on my desk. “Hello, Chief West.”
“Ms. MacKinley,” I say with a grin. “To what do I owe this honor?”
“I could say so many things, but I’m here for several reasons.”
“And they are?”
She sits in the seat and inhales deeply before blowing that breath out. “I need your help, Lach.”
Those four words tear at my heart. “With what?”
“I have a rough draft of the article, but it’s not good. I know good and I know bad, and this is just ... not good.”
“I see.”
“So I need your help. I want this to be something more than just a ‘where are you now.’ I want to talk about sports overall, the things it does for kids and adults. To do that, though, I need you.”
