Page 139 of All Too Well
I hesitate because I’ve thought about it, but not fully reconciled it.
“It’s my decision to make,” I tell him.
A deep sigh falls from his lips. “You’ll regret it. Every day I’ll have to look into your eyes and watch that fire dim.” He moves to me, taking my face tenderly in his hands. “It’ll kill me. It’ll make me the man I’ve spent my entire life working not to be. I’ll be my father. Putting my wants and needs before the woman I love. I’ll have to see this incredible woman wither away until she just gives up.”
My jaw trembles as a tear trickles down my face. Nothing I say here will change the way he thinks. It’s going to take me leaving and coming back to prove to him how I feel. “Why don’t you trust me?”
That causes him to jerk back. “I do trust you.”
“No, if you did, you’d hear what I’m saying.”
“Ainsley . . .”
I let out a heavy breath, not wanting to waste tonight. “Let’s just go back and spend tonight together, okay?”
He nods. “If that’s what you want.”
I want to bite back with “Now you care about what I want?”But I don’t. I’ve known him practically my whole life, and he’s a stubborn ass.
If he thinks this is the only way, well, I’ll just have to prove there’s always another option. And if he still doesn’t want to hear it, I’ll just call Caspian, and he’ll kick his ass.
thirty
Lachlan
Rose went to Becky’s so I could say goodbye to Ainsley alone. I didn’t want Rose to see the aftermath.
The two girls hugged and promised they’d see each other soon, while I worked on packing Ainsley’s car.
Now Ainsley and I are standing outside her driver’s door.
Ainsley speaks first. “Before you say anything stupid, I want to say something.”
“Okay.”
“I love you. I’ve loved you my entire life, or at least it feels that way. I know you think I have big dreams, and I do. I won’t lie and say I haven’t worked toward those, but love is a dream for me too. To have a man who would do anything for me, love me the way I want and need in my life, is also something I’ve hoped for.”
I’m that man.
I love her so much that I’m willing to let her go. For her.
She inhales and then speaks again. “I’m going to New York today because it’s my job and I need to take care of things, but I’m coming back.” Ainsley steps closer, placing her hand on my chest. “I’m coming back to you. I chose you, Lachlan. You’ve always said that no one ever chose you, well, I’m going to show that changed the day you let me fall in love with you.”
I wish that I believed that.
I would give anything to be a different man. One who hasn’t seen the truth of the world and how things change.
“I will never be the reason someone gives up what they want,” I tell her. “I can’t be that person.”
“And you’re not asking. You’re not encouraging me to give it all up for you, are you?”
“No.”
“Exactly.” She leans in and kisses me. “I have to go. I’ll be back, so if you could, don’t fall in love with any random reporters who might show up.”
Then the beautiful woman gets in her car, waves, and drives off, taking my heart with her.
It’s been two days, and already the smell of her shampoo is fading from the pillow. All her little hair ties are gone, and I miss them. I miss her.
