Page 58 of All Too Well
Instead of speaking, because I seem to be unable to say anything intelligent around her, I nod, get up, and head into my room, where at least I know she won’t be.
twelve
Ainsley
After my freak-out this morning, which led me incredibly close to running away, changing my name, and never returning to my current life, I got a grip and came back—with cake pops.
I’ve spent most of the last four years trying to forget what kissing Lachlan West is like, and this time it was even better.
And worse.
Because now I have a new memory to rattle around in my stupid brain for years, hating that I’ll never have more of it. I have a new taste and smell to obsess over. He’s pretty much ruined mint and chocolate for me, thanks to the cookies we were eating.
Now every time I have freaking ice cream, I’m going to think of his lips.
He’s ruining everything for me.
And I hate him for it.
We just dropped Rose off and I’m doing my absolute best to be normal.
Whatever that means.
“How long will your practice last?” I ask, breaking the awkward silence that has been building in the thirty seconds since she left.
“About an hour. What about your meeting with Everett?”
“My interview could be an hour or more. Depends on how forthcoming he is and what we discuss.”
I’m hoping I can get a good backstory on each of the four guys. Then I can build off a similarity between them.
“You know this story of yours isn’t going to work?”
I sigh. “That’s what you keep saying. You also know I don’t need you for this story, right? I can very easily call your dad and talk to him. He was a huge part of your college career.”
Lachlan snorts. “Yeah, what he thought he could gain.”
I hate that, even after these four years, Lachlan and his father still haven’t found a way through their past issues. When his mother died, Lachlan blamed him. If his father had cared about her, been there for her, not let her basically fall apart when he left, then she’d be around.
“You should talk to him, Lachlan,” I urge gently.
He turns his head to me. “No.”
I wait a second, trying to think of the right things to say. Lachlan’s father and mine are close friends. I’ve heard conversations that weren’t mine to hear, but I know how much his father aches for her. How much he misses her and how much he blames himself without the addition of Lachlan’s rage.
“I know you’re angry and I get it, I really do, but I think he tried. I think he loved your mother and wanted her to get better, but ...” I stop when I see the way he grips the wheel. I can’t fix this. I shouldn’t even try. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
His fingers loosen just a touch. “I was there, Ainsley. I lived in that house and saw how much hetried.”
“You’re right. My perspective is skewed.”
He lets out a long breath. “You’ve always wanted to fix the world, but some things just can’t be repaired. They’re too broken, and that relationship was buried alongside her.”
I reach out, resting my hand on his arm. “She loved you very much. I remember her telling me when she brought over my birthday cake each year.”
Isabelle West thought her son hung the moon. That boy could do no wrong in her eyes, and I understood her, since it was the same in my book.
She was the kindest woman, but she struggled so much with depression, and when she found out she had cancer, she decided to give up. Ultimately, it was like when that choice was made, she was just done.
