Page 43 of All Too Well
“Well, there weren’t enough of us for a baseball team. Then we thought about flag football, and then we heard about acouple of colleges in Virginia that were starting a Frisbee league, and we thought it would be fun.”
I nod, writing all this down. “Was it more of a joke then?”
“No. Considering our injury lists, we figured it was no contact and should be easy, especially since there weren’t going to be a ton of teams.”
“I see,” I say, taking notes. “Sounds like it would be difficult to get a spot since you’re not an actual college.”
“Difficult, not so much, but we had to do certain things to get into the league.”
Now my interest is piqued. “Oh, like what?”
Lachlan steps in. “All right, Lois Lane, let’s go. We have to get Rose before her babysitter files a missing person report.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, I’m sure your practice has never gone over five minutes.”
He grabs his bag. “See you guys later.”
“Bye, Lach! Don’t forget to stretch or you might not be able to walk tomorrow,” Everett taunts as he’s heading to the truck. Then he leans into me. “He went pretty balls to the wall. I’m going to suspect it was to impress someone.”
I laugh softly. “Lachlan never works to impress me. If anything, he tries to pretend I don’t exist.”
My eyes move to where he’s going, hating that it’s always been that way. We dance like this, where there are some days that I swear he wants me, that he sees me, but then he shoves me away so hard, locking every door I could ever think to open. For four years he went on with living his life, trying to reach out only once in the beginning.
I know it was me who ran away, but I ... I don’t know. I was young, stupid, horrified, and then I was too embarrassed to go to him. A part of me wanted him to chase me.
Which is even stupider. But it hurt so much more than I think I ever allowed myself to admit.
To love someone who doesn’t even acknowledge your existence is devastating, but I learned to just live in the pain. Toremember that Lachlan never wanted me. That it was a mistake and the best way to not make them is to learn from them.
Everett waits until I turn back to him. “Well, it’s a good thing he became a fireman, because his acting skills suck. The man clearly has feelings for you.”
I smile and shake my head. “No, he doesn’t.”
He laughs softly. “Sure he doesn’t.”
He may want me, but he doesn’t love me the way I love him.
nine
Lachlan
“Daddy, we’re going to be late!” Rose yells as she’s standing at the front door on this fine Saturday.
Today is her first official cheer competition, and she is very excited about it. She was brought up to a higher-skilled team, which doesn’t happen normally. Apparently she has natural athletic ability, which doesn’t surprise me.
I was pretty good at football, and her biological mother is a dancer. Both of us were at the top of our sport.
“You’re not going to be late.” I tap her head as I walk past her.
“Dad! My hair!”
“Rose! It’s on your head,” I toss back, feeling a little too close to my father in that moment.
“Daddy, please, we can’t be late. I still have to find Emma’s mom so she can do my makeup and put the glitter in my hair.”
She has over two hours before we have to be there, and it’s a thirty-minute drive. We’re fine. Also, I need more coffee.
Glitter. Makeup. Red lipstick. I can’t handle this. She’s six, for fuck’s sake, but I was told that competition cheer is a sport and these are the rules.
