Page 125 of Tempting Promises
I knew this was going to be a possible argument, but it still pisses me off. “So, that’s it? You won’t fight for whatever we could be, either.”
Charlotte turns her gaze toward the open field. “You have no idea what I want to do. Fight? I want to burn the world down. The first time I find someone I want to be with, and I can’t have him.”
“You can! Jesus Christ, Charlotte. I’m here, asking you to let me stand beside you and help!”
“You can’t!” she yells, throwing her arms up. “I have to do this, Rowan. I have to sell this place, deal with the consequences, and figure out the next step. You can’t be the reason behind whatever choice I make. You want me to give in and let you fix this, then what? How do we go forward with me always in your debt? What if something happens to you? Because something always happens, so please don’t try to tell me I’m ridiculous,” Charlotte says, moving around the porch. “A drunk driver, cancer, lies about a semi-boyfriend—whatever the reason is, things happen. This is why I rely on myself. This is why it’s so much easier to just be the sole person who is at fault. I lost this farm. I lost the contract that would’ve saved it. I lost it all and I need some freaking time to think about how I go on.”
I stay silent, weighing my response because we both know the time isn’t going to be anything but a wedge that drives us apart. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I have far less experience than anyone else, but even I know that time apart isn’t what we need. Things happen, you’re right. My father left my mother, and shewent on to marry more losers and then died. Olivia was born deaf because of a complication, Brynn suffered because we didn’t protect her. All of those things happen, but the only reason any of us made it through was by relying on someone who loves us. You can choose to fight alone, that’s fine, but I’m asking you to let me stand beside you so when you’re fucking exhausted, you can lean on me.”
There’s nothing more I can say. She’s hurting, I get it, but I will be there and help her if she lets me.
Which she won’t.
“You say that, and I believe you mean it. I really do. You just don’t get it. I need to figure out how I’m going to do all the things I need to or whatever my next step is.”
“What things?” I ask. “The only thing I’m asking is that you let me in, Charlotte.”
“What things?” Her voice raises. “What things? All the fucking things, Rowan. The things I haven’t had time to do because I had to go to New York or got stuck in the woods or was desperate for you that I neglected the farm to spend the night wrapped up in your arms where the world wasn’t horrible.” She lifts her hand and starts to list things off. “I have to mend the fence in the back field because the cows got out again, but I don’t have help. The roof on the barn is one wind gust away from blowing off, but I don’t have the funds to repair it or the ability to do it alone. I need to get my truck fixed. There’s a gear on the bucket milker that keeps popping off, no idea where it’s coming from, but that’s another two grand I don’t have. I need to plow the hay field, but my fucking hay bailer is busted, so I can’t. What things you ask? All of that and a million more I can’t even name. So, if you care about me, at all, even a little bit as much as I care about you. Give me a few days. Let me wrap my head around this...hellhole I’m entering on my own.”
Every fucking part of me wants to argue this more. If I thought for a moment it would work, I’d do it. I’d talk until my voice was gone and then I’d sign it. However, Charlotte’s instinct is to retreat into herself when shit goes wrong.
She’s said it before, people leave, and she’s guaranteeing I’m just like everyone else.
As much as it kills me, I know I need to walk away and prove that I’m not going anywhere.
So, I go to her, tip her chin up, and kiss her lips before walking away without another word.
twenty-nine
CHARLOTTE
My head is pounding, but that’s what crying yourself to sleep will do to you. There’s a loud banging and I can’t tell if it’s coming from outside or in my head.
Lovely.
I roll over, the sun is just starting to peek through the windows, so I roll back over, tossing the pillow over my head.
“Go away!” I yell but it’s clearly muffled.
The banging starts up again, and I groan, knowing I need to go figure out what the hell is causing it. Not to mention, it’s time to get my shit together. The cows need to be milked, fed, and cared for, no matter what state my life is in.
Once dressed, I make coffee, mix in some of my protein shake because breakfast ain’t happening, and walk out.
When I do, the banging is louder, and I gasp.
Up on the roof of the barn are Rowan and two other guys.
“Rowan?” I ask because maybe it’s not him.
He looks down from over the side. “Did I wake you?”
“No, I was up.”
“Good. Do whatever you need to do. Pretend I’m not here.”
Yeah, that’s not going to happen. “Why are you here?”
He moves up on the roof and bangs in a nail. “I like the view.”
