Page 102 of Tempting Promises
“Don’t you want your daughter to stand here one day, looking out at the same skyline as you are, and remember how her mother talked about its beauty?”
Those words break me. I turn so we’re just a breath apart. Rowan’s blue eyes so close I can see the hints of green that play at the center. “I’ve learned to give up the dreams that I’ll never have.”
“Why the hell won’t you meet a guy who will give you that?”
“Because everyone that I love leaves. My parents, my grandparents, my sister, everyone. It’s not their fault, I get that, well, other than Aurora. Neither my parents or grandparents chose to leave mewillingly, but look at my life. I’m alone. I have meaningless relationships so that I won’t get attached. I’ve only really dated one guy who chose to walk away. I’m not sure a man or a family is in the cards.”
Other than you. Other than the fact that there is a part of me that opened up to you, against me wanting to. Against my damn permission you seeped into my heart. Damn you.
Still Rowan doesn’t move, he’s so close. I want him to kiss me so damn much it’s a physical ache in my chest.
He closes his eyes, exhaling slowly, and then presses his forehead to mine.
This moment, it’s one of those that a girl dreams of. Being on top of the Empire State building with a guy who is unbelievably sexy and happens to be a dream in bed, and it’s just utterly romantic.
“Rowan . . .”
I’m not sure what I want to say, but he shakes his head ever so slightly.
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, Charlotte, but I will never be the guy you want.”
But he’s wrong because he is the guy I want and I can have him again, can’t I?
“I think you’re wrong. I do want you. We can have just this one night. One more time where we can pretend all the reasons it’s a bad idea don’t exist.”
He exhales deeply. “God, I wish we could, but if I have you one more time, I won’t ever want to stop. I have to go cold turkey because if we do it tonight, I’ll be tempted to do it tomorrow, no matter what promises we make each other. Every night I’ll find a way to you because, I could fall for you if I let myself.”
“Cold turkey, huh?” I try to make a joke, gripping his suit jacket in my hands, holding on because I know I have to let go.
I’ve already fallen for him.
“It’s the only way.”
I lift my head, staring into his eyes. “We’ll always have the cabin.”
His hands move to my face, gently cupping my cheeks. “We’ll always have this night in New York too.”
By some miracle I hold back my tears, hating that he’s right and I’m the one who said how we needed to stop. “We should go.”
“We should.”
However, we stand here, holding on to one another for a minute, maybe a hundred because time ceases for me.
Then, much too soon, Rowan steps back, his hands fall away, and the loneliness I hadn’t felt in weeks returns like an ice-cold breeze that I’ll never warm from again.
twenty-four
ROWAN
Pulling away from her feels wrong, but I know that whatever bullshit she says, she wants a life I will never give her.
She wants kids and a family.
I want no damn part of that. Not after all the shit I’ve seen with my mom. I know better. I’ve seen the scars, bruises, and heartache that comes with thinking we deserve things like a happily ever after.
Life isn’t a fairy tale. It’s ugly, raw, and disappointing.
Charlotte’s eyes fill with tears and it fucking kills me because I know what I’m saying is hurting her. She turns, straightens her back, and then forces a smile. “Let’s head back to the hotel. I’m exhausted and we have an early morning tomorrow.”
