Page 78 of Broken Dreams
“I might have thought about it once,” she admits.
“Once a day?”
“Once as in once.”
Liar, but I’ll let her have it. “Was it good?”
“Ugh!” She moans and then stands. “I’ll be right back. I’m going in the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.”
“Don’t climb in the tub,” I say as she walks off, which earns me a raised middle finger.
I grab my phone, sending a text to Brynn.
I’m at Addison’s still. She just woke up and I’m leaving soon.
Brynlee
Don’t rush. We went to feed the animals and I got a new chicken! It’s so cute. Also, I might have a baby deer, but I think it’s just here to eat the food and not in need of my love and affection.
Jesus, there is no hope for that girl.
I’m not touching any of that other than do not let my son near the deer.
Brynlee
Don’t tell me what to do, ass.
Are you twelve?
Brynlee
Are you going to tell me about your wild night with Addison?
No.
Brynlee
Then be nice to me or I won’t watch him for you when you go away and tell Rowan he has to do it.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and put the phone away. It’s best not to piss off the babysitter since I need her. It’s one of the perks of being in Sugarloaf. My siblings, and the fact that we all live within a few miles of each other. Jett has had a lot of fun being around them and so have I. Plus, me dating Addison has made Brynn happy and willing to keep Jett more than she may have been before.
Addison comes out, wearing a pair of shorts and tank top that hugs every perfect curve. “I took some medicine because this headache is not my friend.”
“Alcohol is never our friend the next day. When we’re consuming it, it’s the best thing in the world.” She climbs in beside me. “Also, Celine doesn’t sing much about drinking, does she?”
Addison’s confused gaze finds mine. “Celine? What? Oh no! No, I didn’t. I was singing. Oh...seriously, I want the bed to swallow me.”
“Come here.” Addison hesitates but then scoots toward me, I pull her to my chest and wait for her to relax. “Are you okay?”
She lifts her head to look at me, her chest falling a little, and then she speaks. “I wasn’t even that sad about Isaac. Which is why I started drinking.” I wait, my heart rate accelerating as I work to keep it steady. I had no idea why she was drinking other than it was her anniversary and she was upset. “I kept thinking, why aren’t I distraught today? I woke up, took Elodie to school, smiled at everyone, thought about you and our kiss, got her to her friend’s, and didn’t even think about what yesterday was. I felt so guilty that I let the day pass and didn’t once remember any of it.”
A tear falls down her cheek and I brush it away with my thumb. “Addy, he would never want your life to stop.”
I know this because if the roles were reversed, I would want Lisa to move on, to find a life and love and happiness.
“I know, but I forgot. So I went to find a green dress he bought me, the one I stared at for weeks in the store but wouldn’t spend the money on. When I opened the door, the box fell on my head. My wedding dress spilled out and I sat on the floor, looking at it, remembering how much I loved it when I found it. How I felt when I put it on, how I looked that day. I got back in it, and by this point I was a bottle down.” She laughs softly. “I was sad because I wasn’t sad all day. Does that make me a horrible person?”
“No,” I say with so much conviction it aches in my own chest. My hand cups her cheek and she leans into it. “You’re alive, that’s what it makes you. I’ve wondered the same on days when Lisa doesn’t enter my thoughts. When I drove over here after the meeting with Cole Securities, I wanted to see you, tell you, kiss you.” My fingers move back toward her neck. “When I want to kiss you again. When I lie in bed, wishing I could kiss you again and again, but you’re alive, you’re real. You’re not a horrible person, so fucking far from it.”
