Page 131 of Broken Dreams
Devney is sitting in my office, talking about Christmas plans while I’m fretting about this flight tonight. “Are you and Grady going to do anything?”
“We haven’t talked about it,” I admit.
“No? It’s only a month away.”
“We’re both busy, Dev. We had his parties, the wedding, and we weren’t really sure if our relationship was going to last.”
Also, we won’t be together in a month, but I don’t mention that.
“Well, now you know. Make plans.”
I sigh. “Have I mentioned just how much I love it when you’re back home?”
She grins. “You have.”
“You’re welcome for being such a good friend.”
“The best,” Devney agrees. “I’m only here for another day, so get your fill while you can. I want to talk about your trip back to Oregon. How was it? Did you and Grady...you know...”
I’ve done my absolute best to keep any details of our relationship private. Especially the intimate parts. My friends are great, but if they know we’re sleeping together, they’ll lose their minds.
“Grady and I are taking things one day at a time. And now, with this company wanting to give us all this money and merge into their organization, it just changes everything. How am I supposed to build a life with a man three thousand miles away?”
The worst part of this conversation is that none of it is a lie. Yes, we have been fake dating. Yes, we planned to break up, but this wasn’t supposed to be how I really feel.
And I do. I want this life with him. I want to stay here and forget all the lies we told ourselves and others because the reality is that none of it was really fake. Not the kisses, or touches, or smiles, or days and nights where we opened ourselves up. The only part of our fake relationship was thinking it was fake.
At least for me.
“I don’t know. It definitely changes things.”
“It changes everything,” I say, feeling the sadness wash over me. “We’re going to talk soon.”
“Good.” Devney rests her hand on mine. “No matter what, you guys will figure it out. You know, even if it doesn’t work out, this experience was good for you. Not only did you put yourself out there, but you allowed yourself a chance at something great.”
“I’m scared, Dev. I’m scared that I’m going to lose it all.”
“Then don’t.”
She says it as though it’s the easiest statement in the world. “I’m not sure it’s that simple.”
“It never is, but if he’s worth it. If you feel like this man is the one you could build a life with, then what kind of life will you have if you let it go?”
* * *
“Mommy, is Jett coming here?” Elodie asks as she puts the plates on the table. She loves to “help” me with this part.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart.”
“I like Jett.”
I smile at that. “I do too. He’s a very nice boy.”
“His mommy is in heaven with my daddy.”
I nearly drop the plate I was holding and look at her. “She is?”
Elodie nods. “In the sky!”
