Page 121 of Broken Dreams
I’m not quite sure how I’m going to do it, but I will. For Jett.
Because I can’t upheave his life again. I can’t risk him loving Addison and losing her. For the fact that my son can’t love a mother figure and lose her. He’s already lost one. And I know the pain of losing a wife, so it’s better this way.
More than that, I can’t put him through another change in his living environment. I’ve already taken him from Oklahoma to Sugarloaf and away from his grandparents who raised him while I finished my commission. I have to do what’s best for him, no matter what.
Addison lifts her head to look at me. “I got some news when we got here,” she says a little hesitantly.
“What news?”
“Do you remember I told you we had a benefactor come in and want to expand Run to Me to be a global operation?”
I nod. “You seemed cautiously happy.”
“I was. I mean, the idea of taking this issue globally is amazing. The meeting went really well, at least I thought so. There were so many ideas and things they wanted to do.”
I look into her blue eyes, seeing the confliction and worry there. “But?”
“But...they will require me to move back here.”
“Why?” I ask, trying to squash the immediate desire to tell her not to go. Which is selfish since we’re going to break up anyway.
Also, it might be better this way. If I don’t have to see her every day, maybe I won’t regret it as much.
“They want a headquarters and that’ll be run by me and Blakely. We’d have to be ready to expand very quickly, to have a five-year roll-out plan within the first six months. The amount of work it will take can’t be done with us on opposite coasts.”
“What’s holding you back?”
Addison tucks her hair behind her ear, a tell I know is her trying to assemble her next words. “I don’t want to leave Sugarloaf.”
“Your family is here, Addy. You have friends, your sister-in-law, and a chance to make a real difference in the world, why wouldn’t you jump at it?”
I see the hurt flash in her eyes for a second and then it’s gone. “I left here because it was hard to be in the shadow of Isaac’s ghost. No one here will ever date me, I want things in my life that I can’t get in Rose Canyon. You know this.”
I do. She wants a family, more kids, to love a man who is her world again.
“And what if you lost all that again? Doesn’t that scare you too?”
Addison sits up, pulling the sheet with her. “Of course it does. I don’t want to endure that kind of heartbreak again, but I don’t want to let life pass me by either.”
I’d rather it pass me by than be run over by it. Still, I know Addison has different wants than I do. “I’m just saying that this seems like a chance to change the world and that’s really worth considering.”
She goes quiet for a moment. “It means giving up a lot. Giving up things I wasn’t ready to just yet.”
I open my arm again. “Come here.” Addison nestles into my side, her head on my shoulder. “I know how hard it is to give something you love up. When I left Jett with Lisa’s parents, I never thought I’d survive it. I kept saying, it’s just six months. It’s no different than if Lisa was alive. Then, when I got back, I realized how settled he was with them. He knew them, loved them, and I would be leaving and training which would mean him going back to Oklahoma every few weeks. Then, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore and I gave up my career to do what was best for my son, I understand what you’re feeling. In your case, though . . .” I kiss the top of her head, willing the words not to hurt. “I think coming back to Rose Canyon gives you both. You get the career and your family.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
Although it feels incredibly wrong.
* * *
I’m sitting in one of the front pews on the bride’s side. I was directed to sit here, with the other spouses.
I tried not to flinch when they said that.
However, I’m next to her three best guy friends who have welcomed me into the fold, exactly like I knew they would. Once they realized I wasn’t a piece of shit, they backed off. This morning Addison kissed me, informed me Emmett and Blakely would pick me up, and then ran off with her friends to help the bride get ready.
