Page 103 of Broken Dreams
“We go to the treehouse, Uncle Jacob?” Elodie asks.
It’s no surprise that’s where she wants to go. The Arrowoods have the most incredible treehouse that Connor built for his daughter, Hadley, when she was young. It is literally the most insane thing I’ve ever seen, and he maintains it still, mostly for Elodie since we lived on their land until we found a place about a year ago.
“Of course. Let’s go and leave the women to their cackling.”
“We’ll be sure to talk about your gray hairs when you’re gone!” Brenna yells out as he heads toward the tree line.
When we enter the house, we head back to the open kitchen, and I sit at the counter while Brenna’s assessing eyes find mine. “I normally live for our staring contests, but since I know you went to upstate New York with Grady, stayed in a hotel, and you’re here the morning after he dropped you off, I’m going to break our trend and demand you spill it.”
“We had sex. But it’s still fake.”
“Fake sex?”
I shake my head. “No, I mean...I don’t know what I mean. I kept telling myself none of it was real. This relationship wasn’t going to last so I wasn’t letting my heart even consider this could be anything worth caring about.”
“But the sex is?” Brenna asks.
“Yes, of course the sex is real. God, was it real. Did you know that a body can orgasm itself into a coma? Because I feel like that happened.”
“Oh, I need to hear this.”
Yeah, I can’t believe I just said that, but it’s true. “Sex with Grady was like nothing I knew possible. The orgasm after orgasm had me seeing stars at some point in the night. It was...the best sex I’ve ever imagined.”
Her eyes widen and her smile grows. “Well, that’s good!”
“So good. So, so good.”
She nods approvingly. “Good job, Grady.”
Yeah, if this was a grade, he’d be an A+ with honors. It’s why I said what I said before he left, because I’m really hoping for more of that.
“Okay, so sex is real and what’s the problem? Did you guys talk about what you’re going to be now that you’ve crossed that line?”
And that’s why I’m standing in her kitchen. Because we kind of did. I think we did. I mean, I said I didn’t want anything from him, and I mean that.
“Sort of. I told him that I don’t want anything from him, that we’re adults and it changes nothing. Which I’m completely and totally fine with because I still don’t think he wants a serious relationship.”
She purses her lips. “You’re fine with this?”
“Yes. I mean, we’re two adults who are enjoying a little...carnal fun.”
Brenna stares at me for a heartbeat. “Did you practice that speech on your way over?”
“No.”
“It wasn’t bad. Slightly believable, a little weak on the ending. I bet Jacob could give you lessons on selling it better.”
I sigh heavily, letting my head fall to my arms, unwilling to look at her. “Don’t judge me. Please.”
My incredibly well-trained friend keeps quiet until I lift my eyes to find hers. There, I find what I always do with her...understanding. “I’m not judging at all. I’m happy for my friends or anyone really, when they’re doing what they want and makes them happy. My arrangement with Jacob was far from perfect and I have a lot of friends who are completely fine with a friends-with-benefits deal. I guess I’m asking if you are or you’re telling yourself you are.”
It’s hard to answer that because the reality of my life is that I met a boy when I was just a girl, fell in love with him as we both grew up, married him, and then he was killed. I don’t really have a clue as to what I am okay with.
Which is probably why I really like that I’m doing this.
I was so ready to have this serious relationship again, to have kids, and a family, but what if this is what I really want?
Just a companion. A friend. Someone I like and who likes me, but there are no strings attached at the end of the day.
