Page 96 of Forbidden Hearts
Okay. “I wasn’t . . .”
“No, she hasn’t. I am very protective of her. When we had her, both Sara and I agreed that we wouldn’t have random men or women through the door. I have never had a woman in the house when she’s there. I never even considered it until . . .”
Me.
“I think that was the best thing you could’ve ever done,” I say, wanting him to know I respect it. “Has she met the Ford guy?”
“Yes, once things got serious, Sara told me she was going to introduce them.”
“And you’ve never had anyone?”
Asher’s blue eyes are blank. “It’ll never happen for me.”
Never. Right. God, why am I so dumb? I know the answers to these questions just like I know that we will never be more than a summer affair.
I force a smile, pretending as if my heart didn’t just break in my chest. “One day, you may meet a girl who steals your heart and makes you want to introduce her to Olivia.” As soon as I say it, I hate myself. If I try to clarify that I wasn’t talking about me, then I’ll look ridiculous. Asher stands there, his gaze tracking mine, and I sigh. “I didn’t mean me, sheesh. I’m saying never is a strong word. I know what we are. I’m not asking for anything.”
He seems to relax and nods. “I didn’t take it that way. Come here, Phoebs.”
I do as he says, hating that I said any of this and ruined the small sliver of time we get to be more than just some clandestine relationship.
He pulls me into his arms, and I am too weak to resist him. “If I were younger, if you weren’t Olivia’s nanny, my boss’s daughter, and preparing to leave, maybe . . . maybe we could’ve been more.”
“Maybe a lot of things, but we’re not. We have now, and we have to accept that. I don’t want to think about the future, Asher. I just want to be here—with you.”
He gently lifts my chin and gives me the sweetest kiss before we tumble back into bed where we have no problems.
* * *
“Tell me what you were like growing up,” I ask, wearing nothing but his T-shirt, as we sit on the bed and eat dumplings.
Asher is in his boxers, and I admire his amazing body. Every muscle is on display, and I can’t seem to stop staring.
He laughs, raising one brow. “I was an asshole.”
“Was?”
He pinches my arm for that, and I pull away, tsking at him. “I thought I was a marshmallow.”
“Oh, you are. It’s just under all that assholeness.”
“Well, back then, I was all asshole. Anger radiated from me, and my mother’s inability to stay single and not date total losers only enraged me more.”
I try to picture a younger Asher, and I can’t do it. He came to Sugarloaf when I was fourteen, and I definitely never saw him as young. He was Brynlee’s older brother who never smiled and then became a cop who my dad thought was great.
I thought he was a dick.
“And when did that stop because you’re the calmest guy I think I’ve ever met. Nothing really rattles you.”
Asher grins. “You have no idea, sweetheart.”
“I don’t, that’s why I’m asking.” He swipes the dumplings and pops one into his mouth with a wink. “See, the asshole is still in there. Now, tell me about when you got to Sugarloaf.”
Once he’s done chewing, he leans back against the headboard. “I don’t know. I was coming back to take care of my mom and Brynn. God knows her biological father wasn’t going to step up. My mother had the worst fucking taste in men. Four failed marriages and each one seemed to be trying to be worse than the last. Brynn’s father takes the cake, though. I hate him.”
“Because?”
“He treats my sister like shit and only shows up in her life when he wants something. Brynn has a bleeding heart and can never say no to him, which he knows. My father is no better, but at least none of us have heard from him in ten years. For all I know, he could be dead.”
