Page 131 of Forbidden Hearts
My phone rings again, and I decline the call without looking to see who it is. I don’t want to hear all the reasons I should stop. I will never back down from this. It starts again. I can imagine that Phoebe has gotten ahold of Brynlee by now and knows everything.
I’ve been driving for almost ten hours, and the rain is starting to fall more steadily, but I don’t let up the gas. I’m too close to.
Another memory flashes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Rowan asked, sitting in the chair next to mine by the fire.
I lifted the beer in my hand. “Having a drink.”
“Or six,” he said, glancing to the empty bottles on the ground by my feet.
“Seven.”
He grabbed the bottle from my hand and drained it. “You can’t beat yourself up, Ash.”
“Pretty sure I’m already doing that.”
Rowan was just as angry as I was when Brynn told us, but he wasn’t at fault. I was. He had been my friend, and it wasn’t enough that I threatened him. The past would remain, and my sister will never forget it.
That was on me.
“She turned out all right, despite it all,” Rowan said as he stared at the flames.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t it?”
I shook my head. “Nope. It never should’ve happened.”
“It still doesn’t make it your fault. You didn’t know, and if you did, you sure as fuck wouldn’t have let it happen.”
“Doesn’t change the fact it did. She was alone and pregnant at fucking sixteen. He was eleven years older than her! I can’t, Row. I can’t sit here and not want to wrap my fingers around his neck.”
Rowan placed his hand on my shoulder. “Brynn knows that. We all do, but this”—he pointed to the bottles of beer—“ain’t you. This isn’t going to fix the past, and it sure as hell isn’t going to help Brynn.”
I turned to the house, and there stood my sister at the door, watching. After she told us what happened, she spent a few days at her friend’s house, which was probably for the better. My emotions haven’t exactly been calm. I got home yesterday from my trip out to Iowa, told Brynn what happened, and let her know she’d never have to worry about him again. Then I came out to this old barn and started setting shit on fire.
“I failed her, Rowan. I failed her, and what the hell does that say about my ability to protect Olivia?”
“You didn’t fail Brynlee, and you’re not going to fail your daughter. You’re a good man who trusted a piece of shit. We all did. Grady and I thought he was a great guy too. We had no idea about him and Brynn, and while I’d love to go off the handle, I know that she really can’t take it. So, pull yourself together and be the man she needs.”
Rowan slapped me on the back of the head before walking away.
I sat there, staring at the orange and red before soft footsteps sounded behind me.
“Asher?” Brynlee hesitated.
Immediately, I sprang to my feet. She took four steps before she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Brynn. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t protect you.”
I held her tightly, and the two of us cried. I don’t remember how long we stayed out there, but it was long enough that the fire died down and nothing was left but ash.
I pull into a gas station and fill up before going in to get some food and drinks. I take a leak, toss the junk food I got in the passenger side, and get back on the road.
The next hour and a half passes in a blur. I’ve been driving all night, and the rain hasn’t relented once. I pull into the University of Iowa parking lot and find a spot. I have no plan past this.
No idea what exactly will happen, but I can’t stand by and do nothing, not again. I love Phoebe, and how any man can look at her, touch her, and walk away is beyond me. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and she’s been hurt by this piece of shit.
I’m fucking done.
