Page 79 of Keep This Promise
Afraid of what good I could have.
No, it’s not. I want to live and be loved. Truly loved. I want a man to come home to me, kiss me, and tell me that I am his world. I have never had that, and I deserve it.
“We have to go slow,” I tell him. “Not because I don’t want more with you, but because I don’t know what more even looks like. We have to think about Eden as well.”
His hand cups my cheek. “I can do slow.”
Then his lips touch mine, and I forget all my fears.
ChapterTwenty-Five
SOPHIE
“This pack stays on your hip and tells the machine in your arm when you need medicine,” Holden explains as Eden stares at the clear wrap around her insulin pump on her arm.
“Do I still have to do the needles?”
He smiles. “Not nearly as many.”
It’s been a long five days filled with tests, explanations, and possibilities, and I am struggling to keep it all straight. We have had a lot of visitors. Mama James came nearly every day to spend time with us and give us each some time to clean up. Brielle and Spencer came yesterday, bringing Eden a bouquet of balloons and lots of toys. Emmett and Blake also have visited daily, though they spent most of the time filling Holden in on whatever is happening with the girls they helped. I haven’t had the energy to focus on it, but they seem to have some ideas as to where the girls are from and have been helping them.
And yesterday, we had a visit from the mayor, which was kind.
Holden has been patient and has gone over things with me multiple times. Eden’s diabetes is best managed with a self-regulated insulin pump. Every three days, we must check the medication levels and change it if needed. We can check her blood sugar on our phones throughout the day. If her levels drop, we need to give her sugar, but if they’re high, the pump will dispense insulin.
“I don’t like the needles,” she says, her lower lip wobbling.
“And that’s why we’re doing this, but you have to be a good girl and help us too, okay? You must tell us when you don’t feel well and eat what Mummy tells you,” I explain. A lot of her diet must change, but Holden has assured me that we’ll make the appropriate steps for the entire house. While that is probably the most daunting change, it’s far from the only one. I’d never realized there were so many things that went into regulating a person’s blood sugar.
“Okay, Mummy.”
“That’s my good girl.”
The nurse enters the room with paperwork. “I just need you to sign these, and you’ll be all set to go.”
I scribble my signature, and she smiles. “You’re all done. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call Dr. Baxter.”
Holden coughs. “Or me.”
The nurse grins. “Yes, or you. There is a follow-up appointment set in a few days to check the pump, but other than that, you guys have a wonderful afternoon. Bye, Eden.”
Eden waves. “Bye!”
Once she’s gone, Holden gets to his feet and takes Eden’s hands. “You ready to go home, bug?”
“Yes! I want my dolls and my colouring books, and I want to snuggle Pickles!”
I laugh as Holden’s expression sours a touch.
“Mama James said we can stop by tomorrow.”
“I want to go now,” she says with wide eyes.
Holden’s shoulders droop. “All right. We can stop by there today.”
I look at him, a smirk on my lips. “You gave in awfully quick.”
“Did you see those eyes?”
