Page 20 of Keep This Promise
“I don’t need one. I believe you, and . . .” His gaze settles on Eden again.
I look over, concerned at whatever she might have done, and I could cry because she’s doing it again. She’s lying down, head hanging off the seat, legs up on the back, watching television with the tablet beside her.
“Does she always sit that way?” he asks, forgetting the statement he was in the middle of.
I sigh, embarrassed at her pose. “Eden, we’ve talked about this, darling. You can’t sit like that.”
“It’s comfortable,” she protests.
“It can’t be,” I argue.
Holden quietly laughs. The heat fills my cheeks. No matter how many times Theo and I would reprimand her about it, we’d find her in the same position moments later. The worst was the day she did it in church at a wedding. I wanted to crawl under the pew and wait for the Lord to call me home.
“Mummy, I like this way.”
My shoulders fall and that feeling is just as intense. I turn to Holden and say, “I’m sorry, I can make her sit right, but she won’t last long.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t. I sat like that until I was fifteen when I watched TV or played on my Gameboy.”
“You did?”
“I was always getting shit from my parents and sister. It was comfortable.”
My eyes move back to Eden, and I smile. “I always thought it was odd, as no one in my family ever did that.”
“Well, let’s hope that’s all she inherited from me.”
“Holden? I know that Eden is your child, but how could you not want proof?”
He leans back, and after a moment, he finally answers, “Have you ever just known something? Without it being confirmed?”
“Of course.”
“Well, that was how I felt. I looked at her and knew. If you had come to me after that night, or if we had known each other before, I wouldn’t ask for a paternity test. Just because you’re here now doesn’t change that. I appreciate you offering the option, and maybe if we ever need it, we do it then. However, I believe you and don’t need a test to tell me what I already know.”
My hand moves to my mouth. I can’t believe he said that. It’s too much to believe this man is real. “I wish so many things went differently that night. We’d be having a very different conversation if they had.”
“What do you mean?”
Maybe we would’ve dated. Maybe we could’ve raised her together. So many things could’ve been different if we’d known each other . . . I don’t know. If any of that had happened, then I never would’ve married Theo, and I wouldn’t have given him the one thing he wanted—a family. While he wanted a wife and children, he never wanted a child to inherit his condition.
Still, Holden and I missed an opportunity.
“Just that . . . we should’ve talked. Exchanged phone numbers or at least last names before we . . . you know.”
Holden chuckles. “I’m honestly shocked I was able to perform with how much I drank.”
Even in his drunken state, he was still good. The best I’d ever had, which isn’t exactly saying much as I don’t have an extensive history. I’d dated a narcissist prior to meeting Holden, and he never once cared about me at all. It was his needs, and mine weren’t relevant. So, maybe he wasn’t good? I don’t know anymore. It’s been so long since anyone has touched me.
Holden’s deep sigh reminds me of his previous statement. “Sorry. You were . . . well, you were able to.”
“Was I good?” he asks with a joking hint in his voice.
I laugh, unwilling to admit my thoughts. “You passed out immediately following.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I grab a piece of bacon and shrug. “You weren’t bad.”
