Page 194 of Keep This Promise
“And if you feel like you have to go to the toilet, you go right away.”
“Yes, Mummy.”
“And no sweets. You don’t want a tummy ache. Be nice to Pickles. If he doesn’t want to be held, don’t try to pick him up.”
Holden scoffs. “Please, torment the cat. He deserves it.”
Mama James tsks. “Maybe if you were nicer to him, he wouldn’t hate you so much, Holden Xavier.”
“Yeah, I hear demons are repelled by kindness.”
“You are ridiculous,” Mama James chides and then takes Eden’s hand. “Don’t you worry, Sophie. We will have a great time, and if there are any issues, I’ll call right away.”
I force myself to stand and take a step back. It is incredibly difficult to leave her here unprotected. Holden moves closer, his hand resting on my back, lip at my ear. “Emmett is on duty and will come by every hour. I promise you, Sophie, I will protect you and Eden with everything I have. Do you trust me?”
My heart races as his words create a rush of safety around me. I move my head, looking into his deep brown eyes. It blows my mind how much I trust him. It’s clear that he is a great man and a good father. He didn’t let my fears go unheard, he ensured that my—our—daughter is safe.
“I do trust you.”
His smile makes my chest tighten. “Good. Let’s go have dinner, and we’ll call to check in whenever you need.”
It seems so silly, but the fact that he even said that means the world to me. I lean down to kiss Eden’s cheek and then Mama James gives me a hug. “Have fun, and we’ll call if we need you.”
Holden helps me into my coat and then places his hand on the small of my back. He opens my door and then closes it once I’m in. I know he said this wasn’t a date, but all of this feels very date-like, and I can’t stop smiling, which has me questioning my sanity.
When he gets in the driver’s seat, I turn toward him. “I promise I’m not usually this neurotic.”
“You’re not neurotic, Sophie. You’ve been through a lot and have every right to be nervous leaving her for longer than normal.”
“Well, and it’s for a date.”
“I thought we weren’t going on a date,” he teases. Damn it. Now I feel ridiculous, but Holden takes my hand in his. “Just relax and know that Mama James would terrify anyone who tried to come near Eden. I would never leave her otherwise.”
“How can you feel this way about her already?” I ask. “You love her.”
“She’s my daughter.”
“But . . . you only just found out.”
Holden shifts to face me better. “When they placed her in your arms after you gave birth, did it take days or a moment to love that child?”
I answer instantly. “Not even a moment.”
“The moment I saw her, I knew she was mine, and I felt the same way. I don’t need weeks or months to love that child. She’s mine . . . ours. I am her father, whether she knows it or not, and all I want is to protect her from the horrors of this world. Now I get to spend time learning who she is and loving her even more. If Theo was anything like me, he felt the same, and that’s why you’re here. He sent you here because he knew that only a father would trade his own life for hers.”
A tear falls down my cheek, and the riot of emotions battle in my chest. There’s relief because I have worried about all of this as well. There is hope because I had no idea that Eden would ever know the love of a father after Theo died. I worried that she wouldn’t have someone to do all the things that daddies do. To find Holden, a kind man who already loves her the way only a parent can, soothes my broken soul. Then I feel a bit of anger toward myself and, again, Theo. On top of all the other things he kept from me, for him to have kept this from me, to have robbed me of something I could’ve shared with Holden, it makes me want to scream.
Holden wipes away my tear. “Why are you crying?”
I look out the window, composing myself before turning to him. “I had no idea a man like you existed, Holden James, and I am both happy and sad we are here tonight. Happy because you are a good man who I am so incredibly blessed to share a child with. Sad because, if Theo hadn’t died, we wouldn’t know each other. Sad because you should’ve seen her first smile and steps. You should’ve been able to hear her first laugh or word. You were robbed of all of those moments, and instead of being angry, you are . . . you.”
“I’m upset I missed it all, but I’ve seen horrible shit in my life. I’ve watched kids die of cancer, abuse, neglect, and other things that haunt me at night. I could be angry, and I can wish I had what I didn’t, or I can be the man that Eden and you need. I choose that.”
“Me?”
He grins. “Well, you are my baby mama.”
I laugh. “I am, and you’re my baby daddy.”
