Page 190 of Keep This Promise
It’s starting to feel more like a date the closer we get to it, especially since the girls seem convinced it is one.
“Whatever you say, Sophie.” Brielle smirks.
“Don’t start. You both have told me your love stories, and I am not impressed by either of your decision-making processes.”
They grin and sip their coffee. Blake puts her cup down first. “Listen, you can call it what you want, but don’t lie and tell me that you’re living with Holden, and you don’t feel anything more than friendship.”
Brie nudges her. “She might. She did it with Theo. Maybe itisjust friendship.”
It’s not. I never longed for Theo like I do Holden.
They both watch me, and I just shrug.
“What does that mean, Sophie?” Blake asks.
“It means a lot of things. I like him more than a friend, yes, but we all know my life isn’t uncomplicated. How would that be fair to him?”
“Holden is a big boy, he can handle himself,” Brie says. “And he really likes you.”
“And how do you know this?”
“Because I have known Holden James since I was five years old and, trust me, this is a date.”
I groan. “I don’t want to lose what we have.”
“I’ve been there, sister.” Blakely’s voice is full of understanding. “Emmett was my best friend, I loved him, and I walked away for what I thought was his own good. It’s never really that, though. If you were honest with yourself, which isn’t a trait I possessed until recently, it’s because you’re scared. Not for them, but for you.”
I am not lying to anyone about why I am afraid. I know exactly why I’m terrified to let my heart in, and it’s really two-sided. “I’m not going to let my past hurt him.”
Brie reaches her hand out. “Let me ask you this, what if your past never comes? Are you just going to live with this cloud over your head and never be happy?”
“I am happy. I’m working, raising Eden with her father, and have friends. What more could I need?” I counter.
Blake sighs. “You know that’s not what she meant.”
“No, but this week, I’d like to talk about anything other than this dinner.”
Brie sits back, hands in the air. “Fair enough.”
Thankfully, we end up talking about Spencer’s writing and Emmett’s trial, which begins in a few weeks. It’s crazy how close to death he, Brielle, and Blakley came.
“I just want it over, you know?” Blake says almost absently.
“It will be soon. Then we can all move on,” Brie reassures her.
She nods. “I love my work, I really do, but there are times when it’s incredibly hard to see these girls. Some are broken, so high they can’t see straight, or end up as Jane Does. I just want to help them the best way I can.”
“And you are. Both you and Addison have done amazing work already,” Brielle assures her.
“Addison, like your sister-in-law?” I have heard mention of her a few times, but they kind of dance around the topic. None of them say much, but there is a sort of collective sadness.
“Yes,” Brie answers with a smile. “Well, she was more than that, really, but when Isaac was killed, she couldn’t handle being here. Her family all left the area, and she’s over on the East Coast now. There was so much...uncertainty after the murder that it was better for her to leave. I just had always hoped she’d come back.”
“I’m so sorry. I imagine it’s hard to have her gone.”
Her shoulders rise and fall. “It’s fine. She’s really happy in Pennsylvania. She handles the East Coast Run to Me office, which has given her a really great sense of purpose as well as a solid excuse for her to stay in Sugarloaf. Everything else aside, her being there is helping her heal.”
Blakely smiles at me. “Sort of like you are being here.”
