Page 20 of Help Me Remember
“Don’t be afraid, Brielle. I am . . . we are all here for you. You aren’t alone and you never will be.”
My throat is tight as I force myself to take a breath. “Okay.”
He lets me set the pace as I force my feet forward, and by the time I’m standing next to my brother’s casket, I can barely breathe around the crushing loss filling my lungs. When I sink to my knees, Spencer is behind me, his hand on my shoulder as I look at Isaac.
I wait for something—anything—but there’s nothing but the tears and overwhelming grief as I stare at my brother.
I don’t remember how or who. I don’t recall what took him from us all. I only see the truth that my brother is gone. He’s dead, and I am the only person who knows and yet doesn’t know anything.
My head falls forward as I sob, feeling the guilt and weight crush me.
Then Spencer is pulling me into his arms, and I sink into his hold. “I can’t rememberanything. How can I see him this way and not remember? How can I be so weak and do this?”
“Brie . . . you are not weak!”
“No, I’m failing him.Him,” I yell. “Isaac, who has never let me down. He is probably why I’m alive and yet, I don’t know anything. I don’t know what happened to him. I’m the only one who can make this right and I can’t!”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
I push back, no longer feeling worthy of his comfort. “Who then? Who do I blame?”
“The person responsible. That’s who.”
“If I could remember who that was, then I’d do that, but I can’t! For all we know, I did that! What if I hurt Isaac?”
Spencer sighs. “We both know that’s not true.”
“Do we? How? Because I don’t know anything about the last three years. Not who I am. What I do. Where I live. For all we know, I’m a serial killer or I hired someone. I could’ve staged it. I feel like I’m going crazy, Spencer!”
His hands take my face. “I know exactly who you are, Brielle Davis. You are smart and sweet. You are a horrific dancer who thinks she’s the next big star. You sing in the car because you can’t stop yourself. You love kids and want to keep all of them from ever being in a bad situation. There is no chance in hell you hurt Isaac. None.”
When he pulls me back against him, I don’t fight it. I’m far too busy sobbing and trying not to drown in my emotions. My heart breaks as I let it out. The anger and frustration. The rage that someone took my brother, and the crippling fear that I could have died right along with him. Addison is without her husband and they have a baby with blonde hair and—
I lift my head, and tears blur the view into Spencer’s green eyes.
“What?” he asks quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“Elodie,” I whisper. “She has blonde hair?”
Spencer wipes the tear off my cheek. “She does.”
“She has blonde hair. I know this. I just knew it. Like, it wasn’t a question. I remembered her hair, and . . . she was a chubby baby. I remember holding her, but . . .”
“But what?”
“That’s all. I just knew that.”
Spencer’s eyes grow intense. “That’s another thing, which is one more than you had five minutes ago, Brie. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but these little pieces will start to make sense.”
Time isn’t something I’m willing to spend on this, but maybe there’s another option. Maybe Spencer can help me move time. I have to help find who killed my brother. I have to get justice for Isaac and find answers for all of us. “Are you working right now?”
“What?”
“On a story. Are you currently writing or investigating something?” Sad part is that I don’t know if it’s even what he does anymore.
“Not right now. I haven’t taken an assignment in a few . . . in a while.”
Perfect. I shift forward, my hands resting on his chest as my own heart beats rapidly. “I need you to help me.”
