Page 110 of Help Me Remember
He moves closer, and I’m already backing toward the door. “Stop. Stop please. You’re drowning me, and I can’t breathe.”
The look in his eyes robs me of breath. The pain that lashes across his face tells me that I have wounded him.
I need to go. I need . . . I have to get . . . I can’t . . . this is too much. My vision is getting blurry, and I know I am about to lose it and have a full-on panic attack. Either that or I’m dying.
There’s only one way out.
I reach into my pocket and press the button, knowing the people hired to ensure my safety will be through that door in a moment.
And exactly as promised, a few seconds later, the door is thrown open and I’m being carried out, away from the man I thought I trusted and fell in love with, even after forgetting.
ChapterTwenty-Six
SPENCER
“You know the rules, man.” Quinn pushes against my chest as I try to get through to Brielle’s door.
“Stop. Stop please. You’re drowning me, and I can’t breathe.”
“I need to talk to her!”
“Stop. Stop please. You’re drowning me, and I can’t breathe.”
“You can’t.”
“Stop. Stop please. You’re drowning me, and I can’t breathe.”
Over and over like a record that keeps scratching and forcing me to start at the same spot.
“Drowning. I’m drowning, Spencer. You are taking away everything I need.”Only this last one is my mother’s voice. She said it the last time I saw her, right after the piece of shit she was dating walked away because she had a kid. He didn’t like kids.
None of them did.
So, she left me.
“Stop. Stop please. You’re drowning me, and I can’t breathe.”
I won’t let her go. I am not a scared little boy anymore. I’ll fight to make her see that I’m not drowning her, I’ll tread water for both of us so we don’t go under.
“She’s got it all wrong,” I say, feeling the frustration growing. She pushed the fucking panic button. She was terrified of me. Me. The man who would do anything for her. I take a deep breath and try again. “Just let me talk to her. You can all be there.”
“Spencer, I get it. I have been where you are.”
“Really?” I could punch him for even trying to pretend he knows this absolute hell. “You’ve been here, needing to talk to the woman you love but she has lost her fucking mind and thinks you are the cause of her pain?”
He nods. “Yup. I sure have. My story with Ashton isn’t a cakewalk either. We had a lot of shit to work through, and none of it went smoothly. The one thing I will say is that, if a woman uses her panic button, it means she needs space. Let her have that.”
“Space is the last thing she needs. She’s convinced herself I could be the one who killed Isaac and tried to kill her.”
Quinn steps forward, forcing me back. “I’m sorry, brother. I know you want to talk to her and try to work it out, but you aren’t getting up there. If Brielle thinks she’s in danger, then the only thing she is trusting is her security team, and no matter what, we aren’t going to betray that.”
“I am who set up her team,” I say through gritted teeth.
“All the more reason for you to honor the terms of her protection. Think about what it would do if I let you go up there. It would show her that nothing promised is true, and from what you’re saying, she is already questioning it.”
This is unreal. The last thing I want to do is give her time to convince herself even more that any of what she just said is true. God, I fucked up so much in this. I should’ve told her the minute she opened her eyes. I should’ve given her the answers she needed when she asked for them.
I sink down, resting on my heels. “How do I fix this?” I ask him.
