Page 91 of Help Me Remember

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She brings the lapels to her nose, sniffing it again. Her eyes find mine, waiting for the answer.

I steady my voice and pretend to have no idea what she’s saying. “Emmett and I had one when we arrived. Why?”

“It smells the same.” She steps closer. “The same scent and . . .”

I can see the confliction in her eyes, the warring emotions between wanting to ask for more and knowing I can’t give it to her.

“The cigar?” I ask.

Brie nods. “Yes, the same one I tasted on my tongue. Why?”

I shrug, as though it’s not a big deal when it is. “We got them from the store in town. They only have two brands.”

That’s another lie. These are from Cuba and definitely not sold in Oregon. I have a friend who gave me a box when he came back from Havana. The last time they were touched was the night Elodie was born, which was the first night Brielle and I made love.

“Right. That makes sense . . . of course. I just thought that maybe . . .”

“You thought maybe the memory was of me?”

Brielle looks out at the lake, her body tight as she lets out a heavy sigh. The tension is building between us, and I don’t know what is going to finally tip us over.

Whatever she was thinking through, she finds her resolve and her blue eyes meet mine, not wavering. “I hoped. I keep hoping and wondering, and I need to ask this . . . could that engagement ring be from you?”

ChapterTwenty

BRIELLE

Ifeel so stupid. So absolutely ridiculous, but yes. I want it to be true. I want to believe, for just a minute, that this ugly duckling grew into a swan and got the prince. He has always been the light that I’ve reached for in the darkness.

I chose my words carefully, making sure that I phrased it in a way that would hopefully get him to answer the question I really needed answered. I can’t keep hoping that what I want now is what I had in the past. That the way I feel around him is because my heart is his. It’s crazy, and I need to know the truth, which is why I’m so grateful that Spencer won’t lie.

Steeling my nerves to whatever the answer is.

He smiles and shakes his head. “No, it’s not mine.”

I want to cry.

The scent of that cigar was so strong and so similar to the smell from my first memory, and I guess I just wanted it to tie back to him.

Instead of allowing the tears to come, I force a soft laugh. “I didn’t think so. It would’ve been crazy if we were together and no one knew.”

“There’s not a chance in hell we could’ve done that.”

No, I guess not. Spencer would never have lied to Isaac. Addy would’ve known, and she was genuinely shocked when I found that ring.

But, oh, how I wish . . .

As crazy as it is, it’s also not. Spencer is the one person in this world I have always thought would be my equal in every way. He’s who I want to talk to each morning and the man I think of when I drift to sleep. He has always lived in the back of my mind, but this new version of him doesn’t make sense.

Like, why does he kiss me like this? How can he make me forget all my pain and smile when we have never had this kind of connection? Why do I feel his gaze on me everywhere? I’ve fought against myself, tried so hard to brush it off, but I can’t stop thinking there’s something between us. “Have we been more?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“Because what would’ve changed in the last month? Why would you suddenly see me differently?”

Spencer leans his back against the railing, staring into the party. “You have always been different to me. It just wasn’t the right time.”

“And now suddenly is? After Isaac? That doesn’t make sense.”