Page 83 of Help Me Remember
“Please feel free to do it again,” I say as I adjust my breasts back to where they should be. “Not to mention, we kissed a few nights ago, and we weren’t upset about it then.”
Spencer’s eyes move from my face to my chest. “What do you mean?”
“I liked it. I want it to happen and keep happening. I understand that we’ve been through a lot, and this is probably a really fucking bad idea, but I don’t have it in me to care.”
His lips part and then close. I can see I’ve confused him as well.
“You want me . . . to keep kissing you?”
“Yes. I mean, if I can’t remember the dude I may or may not be engaged to, it’s not really cheating, right?”
Spencer sighs. “What if you love him?” His voice is low, but I hear the question as though he screamed it. “What if he’s the one you really dream of, Brielle? What if this guy is so in love with you that he’s dying inside? What if—”
“What if there’s no guy? Hell, if there is a guy, where the fuck is he? It’s been weeks and no mystery guy has shown up looking for me. If he loves me so much, why isn’t he here? For all we know, he’s the one who killed Isaac and tried to kill me and that’s why he hasn’t shown up. There are a million questions we can go through and still end up right here.” I step toward him, placing my hand on his chest. “Right here and right now, there’s no other guy. There’s you and there’s me, and I want you to kiss me. I want to kiss you. I want you to be the guy, Spencer, don’t you see that? You are the guy for me, right here, right now. When I’m with you, I’m safe and happy,” I breathe the last part.
“You are supposed to be safe with me.”
The way he says that, as though feeling and being are different, makes me pause. “Am I not safe with you?”
Spencer’s finger moves to my cheek, pushing a stray hair back. “Not right now you’re not.”
I press my body just a little closer to his, craving his warmth. “I have never felt safer than I do when you’re around.”
“You really shouldn’t.”
“Maybe not.”
A door slams across the hall, and we jump apart. My heart is pounding in the way it always does when there is a sudden, loud noise.
“Brie.” His voice is full of concern.
“I’m fine. I’m fine.” And I am. I’m okay, and I am safe. Spencer would never let anything hurt me. I am just a little skittish still. As my heartbeat steadies, I step to him, not wanting to stop the conversation. “I mean it, Spencer.”
“I know you do, but you don’t know everything that’s happening.”
Another step. “Then tell me. Please, just tell me so I can know.”
He leans his forehead against mine before pressing his lips to the same spot. Spencer lets out a breath through his nose. “I want to, but I can’t.”
Another door slams, but this time, I don’t jump. This time, I feel calm and secure. He’s right here, looking down at me, and I search for something to explain why I feel this way with him. A knock comes almost a second later, breaking the moment, but I don’t move away from him until the person on the other side knocks again.
Throwing on my best smile, I open the door, and Charlie is there with a man in a tux.
“Good, you’re still here,” Charlie says, looking like a supermodel. “This is my husband, Mark Dixon.”
He extends his hand, and I shake it. “I’m Brielle.”
“It’s great to meet you,” he says and then sees Spencer. “Cross! Who knew that you could look like something other than a bag of ass?”
Spencer laughs and walks to him. They shake hands and do that manly hug where there’s a lot of back slapping. “Good to see you, Twilight. It’s been a long time.”
“Well, when I heard we were out here guarding someone on your request, I figured I should come see what’s going on in this . . . small fucking boring town.”
They laugh, and Spencer jerks his head toward me. “Brie has managed to find the only trouble that exists in Rose Canyon.”
I shrug. “Guilty, I guess.”
Charlie smiles. “I think trouble finds beautiful women.”
