Page 61 of Help Me Remember
Brielle: Thanks. I had a rough day, so I am going to bed. My head is pounding.
I wish I could go over there and hold her through the night.
Me: Hope you feel better. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Brielle: Are you home?
Me: No, I’m out.
I don’t want to tell her I’m next door or that I’m here most days just to be close in case she needs me. Emmett thinks it’s because I want to hang out with him, which I don’t.
Brielle: Hot date?
Me: I don’t think either of these two are particularly attractive.
Brielle: Two? Wow.
Me: Nor are they my type.
“Are you going to play or text whatever girl you’re banging now?” Holden asks.
“I’m not banging anyone.”
Emmett laughs. “Yeah right. You’re never without a woman in the wings.”
Sure, I did everything I could to cultivate that misconception of my personal life. I was always seen with some girl and I never brought the same one around twice. Mostly because I wanted easy and the idea of being in a relationship was exhausting.
Being in superficial relationships was much more satisfying. The girl didn’t think we’d be more, and I never gave a shit about what she did.
“Well, I am now.”
Holden rubs his chin. “You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you with anyone.”
Emmett scrunches his face. “He’s right. I haven’t seen you with anyone since you got back to town.”
Not since I saw Brielle after my piece on the war was published.
“I grew up,” I say, hoping they’ll drop it.
Emmett, who did his own stint in the service and saw just as much as I did, replies, “I think it’s something else.”
“I’m sure you can understand it, Em.”
He nods, and a moment of kinship passes between us.
My team lived through more than eighteen months of absolute hell in the same country that his was. I was granted permission to follow an elite military team with the understanding I was not allowed to report on what they did, only what they uncovered. But still, we experienced a lot of the same things that Emmett did.
The entire reason I requested that assignment was because of Emmett. He had just made it through his special forces training. There was this deep-seated fear, one that kept me up at night, that he wouldn’t make it back.
If I could be there.
If I could be close, then maybe I could help.
It was insane, and Isaac was the only person who knew an inkling of the truth.
Instead of him trying to talk me out of it, he encouraged me to go. Emmett is our brother, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect someone I love. So, I went through a year of their training, because there would be no lifesaving efforts made for me, and went off to war.
The things I’ve seen. The sounds and smells are things that will never leave me.
