Page 40 of Help Me Remember
My heart sinks, and a new type of sadness wraps around me. I want my life back.
Emmett leaves, and I stare at the door with tears falling down my cheeks.
“Brielle,” Holden says softly as his hand rests on my shoulder. “Don’t cry.”
I turn with a laugh. “Why not? How much more do I need to lose? Isaac wasn’t enough? Addison and Elodie have to go too? You’re going to LA soon. Emmett can’t be with me in case he’s called to testify.” I look at Spencer. “You’ll get a job or a girlfriend. Don’t you see? I have nothing! I have lost everything and don’t even know why.”
Holden doesn’t offer me empty platitudes or assurances that it will be okay. He just pulls me in for a hug. After a minute, he grips my shoulders and pushes me back. “You have so much more than you’re letting yourself admit, you just need to have a little faith, okay? It isn’t going to be easy, and yes, you’re going to get frustrated, but you aren’t alone. You never have been.” He wipes away the moisture on my cheeks and offers me a kind smile.
I hate that he’s right. I’m being ridiculous and need to stop because my getting worked up isn’t helping anything.
“You’re probably right.”
“I usually am.”
“You’re also an arrogant ass,” I say with a smile.
“That is also true. However, in this case, I know what I’m talking about. You have to take care of yourself too, Brie.”
I nod. “I will.”
He lets out a long breath and steps back. “On that note. I am exhausted and still need to check on my aunt. I’ll see you at your follow-up tomorrow. Spence, you want to walk out with me?”
Spencer looks to me and then shakes his head. “I’m going to stay and help Brie clean up.”
“All right.” Holden grabs his coat off the back of the chair and then shakes Spencer’s hand. “Give me a call tomorrow.”
After one last quick hug, Holden heads out. “And then there were two,” I say, feeling shy.
“Just as it started.”
Just as I always wanted it to be.
I shake my head, clearing the thought, and smile. “I am really exhausted, thanks for offering to help me clean this mess up.”
“Of course.” He clears his throat, and then we make quick work of tossing the paper plates, bottles, and empty pizza boxes into a trash bag.
There is a part of me that wants to work slower or make an excuse to get him to stay longer, but I tell myself it’s just because I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.
Spencer stands in the doorway with the bag of trash in one hand and his notepad in the other. “I can pick you up tomorrow for your appointment, if you want.”
I am not allowed to drive for a few more days, pending my next evaluation. I was going to ask Emmett to drive me, but I would much rather be with Spencer. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”
“That would be awesome. Maybe after we’re done, we can do a little more digging. We need to go through the apartment too.”
“Why don’t we take tomorrow off?” Spencer suggests.
“What? Why?”
“Because you may need time after your appointment. Who knows what tests they may run or whatever?” He runs his hand down his face. “It might be better if we plan for tomorrow to be a chill day.”
I cross my arms over my chest and raise one brow. “Is that what you’d do in this situation?”
We both know it’s not. Spencer is balls to the walls with everything he does. There is no slowing down or half speed. It’s why he’s so damn good at what he does.
“No, but I have more to worry about than myself.”
