Page 100 of Help Me Remember
“I’m more afraid that it’ll never happen again. That the memories will return and erase what I want right now.” I pause and wait for some reassurance because I keep putting my heart out there, but I don’t know how he feels. When one doesn’t come, I urge, “Please say something.”
“I’m not sure what to say.”
Not that, I want to tell him.
“Okay.”
Spencer shakes his head. “I’m processing it all too. That’s all. We need to take all of this one step at a time.”
“Right . . . I know what you’re saying. You’re right.”
I am so stupid. I start to shift out of bed, but he reaches for me. “Brie. Stop. I’m saying that I am not going to push you. I am not going to ask you to make promises or concessions until you know what is in your past. Last night was incredible, the sex part.”
I release my breath. “Okay. You’re right. I want to call Dr. Girardo and see about going in. He said that sometimes, when the brain has these glimpses, it’s good to go to him as soon as possible. He may be able to open up more of it.”
“Call him, and we’ll go right now.” He gets out of bed, and I take a second to admire his body.
Dear Lord, thank you for that.
He catches me staring, and I turn away, heat filling my cheeks as I slide from bed. I call Dr. Girardo, and he tells me to meet him at the office in thirty minutes, so Spencer and I take quick showers and get dressed, and I try not to laugh about him having to put his tux back on.
Yeah, this won’t be awkward, but we don’t have time to go to his house so he can change.
We walk out of the apartment, his hand in mine, and Emmett is walking toward us, also still in his tux from last night.
He stops.
We stop.
He looks at Spencer. “You spent the night?”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” Spencer replies.
Emmett’s nostrils flare, and he shakes his head. “I can’t believe you would risk your best friend’s case. That you care so fucking little about Isaac, Addy, and Elodie that you couldn’t do the right thing. You think this is right? You’d risk everything, for what?”
I gasp. “Emmett, stop. What is wrong with you right now?”
He turns to me. “You are the only eyewitness, Brielle, and Spencer knows that what he’s doing could jeopardize your testimony. We have had four leads, and every single one of them has been a dead end. We’ve worked every angle, every camera, every scrap of evidence, and we haven’t found anything. So, if they think for one second that your memory isn’t real, that’s it.”
Spencer releases my hand and steps toward Emmett. “You don’t have to add any more pressure to her than she has already. Everyone is aware of what’s going on, but Isaac is dead. He loved his sister and would never want her to suffer—not even for him.”
Tears fill my eyes as I watch the two of them fight. “Stop it,” I yell. “Spencer stayed with me last night because I needed him. I was broken after I had the last memory. I was scared, and he was there for me. What we decide regarding us isn’t your choice, Em. It’s mine and his. I know it’s not ideal for the case, but I am not the case. I’m dealing with my own life, and I can’t be in a bubble.” I turn to Spencer. “He’s your best friend. He’s grieving too. We all are. Both of you have to understand that and not act like this.”
Emmett rubs his face. “I just want to solve this.”
“I know you do. We all do, but you can’t be at each other’s throats.”
“You said you had a memory?” Emmett asks, but he still can’t look at Spencer.
Men are so damn stubborn. “Yes, I saw the murder, but I can’t remember the person’s face. The memory was fuzzy, but . . . I wasn’t okay. I’m still not.”
It rattled me to my core. I was right there. I saw everything and nothing at the same time. I was so afraid. I could feel my heart in my chest, pounding as that gun was raised. The pain as the butt of it smashed into my skull. The sound of the gunshot.
My hands are shaking as though it’s happening now. Spencer steps in front of Emmett. “She’s been through enough. She doesn’t need either of us acting like assholes.”
“I know, you’re right.” Emmett comes closer. “Brie, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. I know you mean well. We are going to the doctor now, but I’ll talk more when we get back, okay?”
