Page 70 of A Chance for Us
It was so much. It was amazing and beautiful, and now I’m pretty sure I’m going to panic. We had sex. Oliver, my friend from college and my best friend’s ex, and I just had sex.
Not weird. Nope. Not at all. We’re consenting adults who just happen to have done the horizontal tango.
I need my notebook and time to jot down all my pros and cons. I have to think about what it means and why and where and . . . oh, here it comes—the freak out.
“Are you okay?” Oliver asks, turning onto his side to face me.
“I’m good.”
“You’re sure?”
I look him in the eyes and vow to fake being okay until I can work through the options. “I will be. I just need to think.”
“Isn’t that the opposite of what helps?”
I shrug. “For most people, but I generally need to see something from all angles before making a choice. I don’t usually rush into anything.”
His brow lifts. “Really?”
Okay. I deserve that, but the last week and a half is nothing like my normal life.
“I am an analyst. The word alone should tell you what I do.”
“I get that, but where in this did you think through asking me to marry you?”
“Well, while that was a bit rash, I promise I thought through the options, and it seemed like the best path to the desired outcome.”
He grins. “I like this outcome so far.”
“I do too.”
“So, we’re okay?”
I would love to say yes right away but can’t. “Can you hand me that notepad?”
His brows crinkle, but he leans over, grabbing the small notepad and pen from his side table.
“Thank you,” I say. “I need a second.”
Oliver nods slowly. “I’ll wait.”
I think it through quickly, jotting things down in the order they enter my brain.
Feelings. That’s definitely a concern. I feel more than I thought I would, more than I knew was possible. It’s so strange and intense and fast that it scares me. However, I’m able to shut those emotions down. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
Sex. That’s a pro because what we just had was fantastic.
Marriage. We’re married, and that’s a pro and a con. Pro because it happened to make others happy. Con because we weren’t supposed to actuallybemarried.
Friendship. That one is tricky. We’re friends, and I’d like to still be friends at the end of this. Not sure where this one falls. More of the outcome.
Honesty. Oliver and I were very clear about being nothing more than some amazing sex for five days, and at the end, we walk away as friends.
I put the paper down and smile at him. “We’re okay. I think us being honest about our expectations made it easier.”
He leans in, pressing his lips to my forehead before pulling me against him. “I’m thinking this is the kind of marriage every couple should have.”
I laugh a little and lift my eyes to meet his. “How is that?”
