Page 45 of A Chance for Us
“For a good cause.”
“And I am sure he thought all his lies were for a good reason.”
Grayson tilts his head. “You really think that? You really think he gave a single fuck about anyone other than himself? I promise you, he didn’t. He didn’t protect us with his lies. He lied because he was too selfish to admit he was cheating on Mom. What is your gain in this? What do you get out of helping Maren? Where is your prize?”
I turn around again, going back to the bar area to pour another drink. I’m going to be wasted if I keep this up, but I can’t seem to calm myself. My brother might be right that there’s no real gain for me, but I’m still lying. Regardless of what I said to Maren, it feels a little different today.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“And what about Maren’s prize? All she gains is making a dying man happy. She doesn’t get anything personal from it.”
“So, lying is fine as long as you don’t get anything out of it?”
Grayson runs his hands through his hair. “No, but if I were dying, and Melia was alone in the world, I would want to know that she was going to be okay. What she’s giving Pat is a gift, and if you don’t see that, then . . . I don’t know.”
I laugh because that was the same shit I told Maren yesterday.
I sit in the chair opposite of him, my drink in my hand, and I close my eyes. There’s a sharp pain in my abdomen, and I take my punishment. “I really wish I knew how to say no.”
Grayson leans forward. “Well, you don’t, so best not to dwell on it because you and I both know you aren’t going to call this off.”
He’s right. No matter how bad of an idea I think this is, I won’t let her down. Why won’t I let her down? Why do I care so much?
Is it because I like kissing her? Is it because, last night, I dreamed that all this was real? That I was watching the woman I love walk to me, ready to say the words I hoped someone would say. That’s ridiculous.
I like her. I want her, but I don’t love her.
I barely know her.
Yet, this morning, I wanted to call her and hear her voice. I wanted to curl up on the couch with her so we could talk about how we feel about what’s about to go down.
Jesus. I need to get it together.
“I need to be alone,” I tell my brother.
He sighs and gets up. I watch him walk to the bar area and grab the bottles. “I’ll leave, but you need to stop drinking and get out of your head.”
“Asshole.”
Grayson leaves, and I’m alone without booze or anything else but my thoughts. Before I can go down the rabbit hole of doom, someone knocks.
“Hi, Uncle Oliver,” Amelia and Kinsley say when I open the door.
“Hi, girls.”
“Are you excited?” Kinsley asks.
“Sure am.”
These two have no idea this is all fake. Well, maybe Kinsley does. She’s smart and devious like her mother.
“We came to keep you company while you wait to get married!” Amelia says with a huge grin. She rushes forward, wrapping her arms around my legs. “I’m so happy.”
I’m glad someone is.
I’m not sure how much of these kids I can handle. “I don’t think you guys need to stay.”
My stomach roils, and I think I’m going to be sick. Maybe that last glass of whiskey wasn’t such a great idea.
