Page 19 of A Chance for Us
“I am just so stupid. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Not only am I going to crush my father but also I embarrassed myself so badly.”
She keeps handing me tissues and rubbing circles on my back. “It’ll work out, Mare. I know it’s hard, but I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
It doesn’t feel that okay. It feels a lot like devastation. I know that it’s probably not all that bad, but I just keep thinking of how disappointed my father is going to be.
I wish, more than anything, I could give him this one happy moment before he dies.
I flop back, feeling worn out and exhausted. “I guess it will be, but I’m not going to tell anyone yet. I don’t want to give Linda a reason not to come up.”
She nods. “I think that’s a good idea. It gives you guys a chance to spend time together.”
“Yeah, and most of his siblings will be here. None of us have really had a chance to see each other that much.” I sigh. “I feel so broken, Dev. I feel like I can’t keep it together and nothing makes sense.”
Devney’s smile is sad. “You’ve had a lot happen in the last few hours. Your fiancé called off the wedding and then the whole Oliver thing, so give yourself a day to just breathe. Tomorrow is a new day, and we’ll come up with a plan to make the visit special.”
My world is crumbling, and there’s nothing anyone can do that will make this better. I am so angry at my . . . ex for doing this to me. I mean, I get not marrying me if he doesn’t really want to, but he should’ve had a damn clue about it before now. Then I’m angry at myself because I had the clues and I ignored them, which is unlike me. I just wanted to give my father what he wanted.
I wanted to let him have his moment before I lost the chance to.
“I’m going to clean myself up,” I say to Devney.
She pulls me in for a hug. “Okay, I’m going out front to call Sean.”
“What are you going to say?”
She shrugs. “I guess there’s no point in him coming. I hate to have him fly down with Austin and Cassandra if he doesn’t have to.”
Yeah, she’s right. “Makes sense.”
“Go do what you need to, and once I get off the phone, I’ll order some junk food and wait out here for you with a bottle of wine.”
Thank God for my best friend. “You’re the best.”
She grins. “I know. Scoot . . . go.”
I head into the bathroom, and when I see my face in the mirror, I actually recoil. Lord I’m a mess, and not a hot one. I splash some water on my face, and when that doesn’t help, I dunk my face in a few times, hoping for it to do something helpful. I just end up looking like a drowned rat.
Great.
I sit on the toilet, since I’m already feeling down in the dumps. Did I really want Oliver to say yes? Would I be relieved if he hadn’t pointed out that I was being a nutjob? I don’t know. I really thought it was the best option to try to salvage the situation.
Then the guilt hits. As much as I want to see my father, having him drive all the way up here only to be disappointed, seems so selfish and wrong. Maybe it’s best I tell Linda, listen to her bullshit, and let them stay home.
I don’t know what to do. I always know. My gut is what has saved lives more times than the intel has. It’s what I’ve always relied on to get me where I am today, and it’s broken.
I’m broken.
A knock on the door causes me to jump. “Coming,” I say to Devney, forcing myself up out of my self-pity.
When I open the door, it’s not Devney standing there. No, it’s a very put together Oliver Parkerson.
He stares at me, and his lips quirk to the side. “You still want to get fake hitched?” he asks, and all I can do is blink at him.
“What?”
“I asked . . . if you still need me to be your pretend fiancé.”
“I heard you, but . . .”
