Page 122 of A Chance for Us

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What-ifs are wholly irrelevant.

What’s important is that I know exactly what love is now. I have felt selfless love at the core of my being. He was willing to sacrifice for me, without any expectations, and I’ve never had that before.

“I appreciate you saying that, but it’s unnecessary. I’m not upset about it anymore.”

“So, who left you and has you crying?”

“The man I married instead of you.”

One-point-oh and I spend the next fifteen minutes talking as I pour over the events of the last month and a half. I tell him about the wedding, Mark marrying us, Oliver and his past. It is nonstop talking, crying, and explaining my thoughts through the entire thing. It’s a little insane that he’s my sounding board, but I let it out with ten tissues, lots of tears, and a bottle of water on my desk I don’t remember getting.

Oliver leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees. “It’s a lot to process and also very unlike you.”

“I know!”

“I think you need to talk to him because it sounds like he loves you and you blindsided him. Give him a day to calm down and then call him.”

“I thought he’d see the gesture as something good.”

He stands, giving me a thin-lipped smile. “He’ll come around.”

I don’t think that’s true. Not with how angry and hurt he was when he left.

“And if he doesn’t?” I ask, grabbing another tissue.

“Then he’s not worth taking a chance on.”

Oliver leaves, and I sit at my desk, feeling raw and upset. I grab my notebook, draw a line down the middle, and start my list to see if I should call him.

Pro:

Fixing it.

Telling him all the things I wanted to say.

Getting the love of my life back.

Proving I’m not a liar and I meant how much I love him.

Being happy.

Con:

He hangs up.

He says more hateful things.

He listens to what I have to say and still says no.

I lose him forever.

Remaining miserable.

Great. It’s even.

My mind is too fragile to see a way through this. I need a little more time to get my heart and head reconnected.

I grab my phone from my purse to text Devney, only to find a text from Stella.

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