“I have my siblings,” I explain. I had hoped I could keep this to myself and deal with it quietly. I hate being a burden and like to think I can tackle my issues without help. This doesn’t seem as if it will be that type of issue.
Dr. Dowdle nods once. “All right. Let’s get things set up for next week.”
We spend the next thirty minutes going over the treatment plan and making sure I understand the risks and possible side effects, but all I keep thinking about is Maren and how the hell I’m going to get through this and lie to her for the next few months.
Twenty-Nine
MAREN
“Hey, Stella!” I say as I answer the phone.
“Hey! I wanted to call earlier, but I have been super busy at the resort and time got away from me. How are you?”
I sent her a text this morning, needing some sister-in-law help to prepare for when Oliver gets here in a few hours.
“I’m doing better,” I tell her honestly.
“There are probably good days and then bad ones.”
“A lot of sad ones too.”
“I bet. I’m really sorry about your dad. He was such a sweet man, and our family is truly honored to have gotten to meet him.”
I push back in my chair and look out my office window. Directly in my view is a pair of wind chimes that are hunter green, my dad’s favorite color. Natalie and Liam hung them so I can see and hear them faintly. Each time the wind blows, I feel my father here. It’s crazy, but I swear that I only hear them when I really need to.
“Thank you. He loved all of you.”
That is the truth. My entire family fell in love with the Parkersons. They were warm and caring when we needed that more than we knew. I will always be appreciative of the love they showed that week.
“What’s not to love?” she asks with a lilt in her voice. “I would love to catch up, but with Oliver on his way to you, I’m a little frantic here. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, of course. I was actually calling because I want to surprise Oliver and do something he really loves, but I’m not sure if he’d like seafood on the beach or dinner at my place. Last thing I want is to make this trip stressful.”
She sighs. “You know, I would normally say that Oliver would just do whatever and be great about it, but have you noticed that he’s been . . . off recently?”
I shift in my chair. A few days ago, I had a feeling that something wasn’t right with him, but I brushed it off. It’s back now, reminding me that my gut doesn’t usually steer me wrong. Only I’ve been not myself lately so I don’t know if I’m correct.
“Yes, but I’ve been off too,” I confess.
“Maybe it’s just what you two went through that is coming to a head. I don’t know. Ollie isn’t usually this moody and prickly. He’s just not, but all week he’s been. Even to his nieces, which is a cardinal sin to him. The sun shines out of those girls’ asses. I could be crazy, but it’s just not sitting right with me.”
Now it’s not with me either. “Did he say anything?”
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe now that my dad is gone, he’s having all these regrets.
Maybe he wants out and the annulment will be the relief he needs. I’m doing it because I want to show him that I choose him, but what if he doesn’t want to be chosen?
My heart starts to pound harder, and my mouth goes dry as I wait for her answer.
“Nothing really. Just that he’s working hard, tired, misses you—a lot. As a girl who was madly in love with someone and couldn’t be with them, I get it. Maybe this weekend is what he needs?”
The tightness in my chest eases. He misses me. Maybe it’s not regret, but longing and fear. I am dealing with the same thing. This long-distance thing is going to be impossible, but I have a plan. A good one. One that affords us both a path through this.
“I miss him too. Okay, if he’s been stressed out, then the last thing I want to do is make this any harder. We’ll stay in, and it’ll be perfect.”
We’ll spend tonight relaxing and hopefully reconnecting, and tomorrow, we’ll have dinner at home where I’ll start my big plan by proving to him that he’s who I want.