Page 11 of A Chance for Us
Devney pulls the car over to the side of the road and waits.
“No, that’s the thing. I don’t think about it either. Neither of us does. When I’m gone, do you miss me? Do you even want to see me? Do I want to see you?”
It feels as though I’ve been punched in the chest. “We’re getting married in a few days.”
Oliver sighs, and I squeeze my eyes closed, knowing I didn’t answer his question.
“Which is why I’m calling. I don’t think it’s the right time. I think we should wait and see how this goes.”
“Youaskedme,” I remind him with a very high-pitched yell. “You got down on your knee and asked me to marry you! I didn’t do that! You said you wanted to do it quickly, to give my dad what he wanted. Now you want to wait?”
“After hearing about your dying father’s last wish. Of course, I did.”
“I never pushed you to propose, Oliver! I was sharing what he said!”
I never said I wanted to get married, just that I hated I wouldn’t be able to give my father what he always wanted.
Oliver didn’t hesitate. He asked me, and I thought . . . I thought it was the right thing. I looked at all the possibilities, and I was . . . stupid. I’m so stupid.
“I’m just sharing how I feel with you. I don’t think this is right. We need more time. We can push the wedding back.”
I shake my head, unable to process this. He can’t do this to me. Not now. Not when my dad is dying and he says this is all he has. What the hell am I going to do now? This is a fucking nightmare. I can’t do this. My heart is racing and I am freaking out.
“We don’t have time, Oliver.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’sdying. He doesn’t have months or years. We have to do this now. We can’t back out. You have to marry me.”
Oliver sighs. “So, are you upset that I’m not ready to marry you now or that you won’t be able to make your dad happy?”
I pause, and my gut clenches because this was his idea and my father is literally dying. This is all he wants and now he’s taking that away. “I’m upset because you decided to say this now! Two weeks before the wedding—over the fucking phone! You can’t do this.” I calm myself, working through the way to deal with this. “Just come here, okay? Just get here like you were supposed to, and we’ll work it out. You and I . . . we care about each other, and this is important. You just have cold feet.”
“I wish this were a case of cold feet.”
“It is. Just grab socks and come to North Carolina so we can warm them. Please, Oliver, don’t do this.” The pleading in my voice is sad, even to me.
Devney gasps, her hands over her lips. “No!”
I nod as tears fall down my cheeks.
“You don’t love me, Maren.”
“I . . . I will. I know I will. I already feel it. I know that this is right. I’m begging you, just come here so we can figure it out together.”
“You can’t even say you love me. How is that not a concern for you? It’s just been too short a time. We haven’t even met each other’s family or friends. It’s like we live in this bubble, and now we’re going to get married? It doesn’t feel weird to you?”
“You can’t do this to me. Not now. Daddy was sent home on hospice, and . . . I can’t tell him that you’re backing out. I can’t.” The last word comes out as a sob.
I just . . . I want to give my daddy what he wants.
Jesus. He’s right.
He clears his throat. “I don’t want to marry younow. Maybe in a few years, but . . .”
“But not now,” I finish.
“No. Not now.”
