Page 65 of You Loved Me Once
“Ren, you can’t tell me that isn’t weird.”
Telling him would be the easiest thing. I could just admit it right here, let him help me fix it, and it would be no harm no foul, but the words are stuck in my throat.
“It is, but he saw me and had questions.”
Westin’s eyes narrow and he sighs. “I heard part of your fight.”
Chapter 19
My entire body locks. There’s no way out of this, and I’m partially relieved. I’m in over my head and Westin will know what to do.
I open my mouth, but he puts his hand up. “Not now, Ren. We’re both exhausted, fought earlier today, and I need a shower. That surgery was intense and I don’t know if I even want to know what that was.”
The look on his face stops me from fighting back. I’ve seen him tired, beaten down, defeated, and he’s all of those right now.
“Did the surgery go well?” I ask.
“No.”
I wrap my arms around him and try to offer a little comfort. “Is the patient all right?”
He pulls back a little, but takes my hands in his. “I’ll know more if he makes it through the night.”
Those cases are the worst. You have to hope that everything you did will be enough. “Do you want to be alone?” I ask, unsure of where we stand.
I don’t know how much he heard, but it’s clear he’s upset about whatever he knows. He has every right to be. I told him we’d move forward, and it feels like I’m being pulled into the past instead.
His eyes close, but he shakes his head. “No.”
“Wes,” I say quickly. “What you heard...”
“I don’t want to know.” He drops my hands. “At this point, I overheard something out of context, but if you actually tell me something, I have to report it, do you understand?”
I nod. He’s asking me to keep this from him, to protect him and in turn, protect myself. I don’t deserve him or his protection. This could cost us both everything.
My work phone pings, and the message states that I need to return due to a patient complication. “Shit,” I grumble. “I have to go, something’s wrong with a patient. Are we okay?”
“We’re good. Go, I’ll be at my place if you want to come by after.”
I doubt we’re good, but I’m not going to push him, either. “Okay, I’m...” Sorry is what I want to say, but he takes my face in his hands.
“Just be mine, Ren. That’s all I’m asking. I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. I’m just...it’s you, okay? It’s you I want and it’s you I need.”
My lungs ache and I feel as though I could sob right here. Westin’s hands fall as I struggle internally. I want to scream out that I am his, but I don’t. I should tell him that whatever he’s doubting, he shouldn’t, because I know he’s who I want. I should say so much but my voice is gone.
Instead, he leans in, presses his lips to mine and then drops his hands.
I’m a fool.
A stupid idiot.
“I’ll be over as soon as I get things fixed, and we can talk then.”
Westin’s face falls at the words I do manage to say. His mask goes up, the same one I wear when I’m done showing emotion, and he gives a fake smile. “Do what you have to do Serenity, but don’t be stupid.”
I have no idea what that means. Did he hear the part about the trial medication? Does he know what Bryce asked me to do?
Why can’t I just go back a few weeks and have never accepted Allison Brown into my damn trial?
